20 questions...

so, anyone who has ever been around a child knows that as soon as they are able to talk, they do. a lot. a whole lot! monkey, for instance, starts chatting away from the moment he rolls out of his bed in the wee hours of morning until the last possible second at nighttime..."i need to tell you one more thing..."

so many questions, statements; hilarious, straight forward, sweet, awkward. "what is...how do you spell...can we...look at this...watch...did you know…are you watching this...oh, this girl told me she loved me today" on & on & on...seriously. most of the time the answers to this quiz master of mine fall fluid from my mouth without hesitation. sometimes they take some creativity. & other times, i am just a deer in freaking headlights at some of the shiz that my ears are hearing.

today's conversation was especially fun & unexpected (insert sarcasm & a bit of a blush here). it went something like this...

(scene: cold december day. entering the grocery. usually distracted by his  3ds, a more alert boy emerges.)

monkey: can we get curly fries?
me: sure. hold up, let me zip down this aisle real quick.
monkey: ooh, what’s this aisle? fem-i-nine hy...hydra? oh cool, there's a pokemon that evolves into a hydra!
me: really? ok, sh-shh
monkey: (very audible) why are you shushing me? whats in that box?
me: i'm not shushing...um, something i need.
monkey: whoa, there's like 20 of 'em in there! what are those? sticks or something? are you getting that yellow one? who are those for?
me: oh, nothing. they're for mommy. girl stuff.
monkey: can boys play with those?
me: they're not toys, baby. it's just something...NOW! let's go get you some curly fries!
monkey: just for girls? that doesn't seem fair.
me: you have no idea.
monkey: you gonna use all 20?
me: not today. so, i'm thinking dinner for you guys...why don’t you pick.
monkey: think we can have chicken nuggets with the curly fries?
me: absolutely, that's a fine idea! (whew!)
aaaad scene...

now, i don't know where he got hydra out of hygiene, he probably didn't sound the word all the way out (like we have been practicing with our reading), but i'm glad today he went with his first guess. how would i explain hygiene? okay, that would’ve been fairly simple, but not of the feminine variety. it was hard enough explaining why mommy uses an eyelash curler & tweezes her eyebrows “on purpose” (he feels this grooming is unnecessary & aren’t i worried about poking at my eyeball) i was impressed with my ability to avert his attention…it’s getting better. i felt relieved traveling away from this overflow of questions until i looked up to see if anyone had overheard any of this; i may never erase the image of the cheeky-grinned stock boy passing through from my mind. will i ever be able to shop at this store again? sure, it takes much more for me to be totally embarrassed. & hey, i'm sure that it made him giggle.
kids are funny creatures, for sure!