back to school...

as the first week of school begins to marinate, i start to reminisce on summer (from a week ago), & how i was this “good guy,” the cool mom who allowed morning time ample room for ‘cartoon network’ & zelda…even a little minecrafting. all hail “me!” no particular schedules of waking up or going to bed or getting dressed…unless a spectacular occasion called for it. the only thing i would get were the occasional ‘mehs’ of few & far between…when the afternoons finally called for a “let’s go to grammy’s” because of my night classes. but overall, i was awesome!

now, let me fill you in on the non-summer routine…what is to surely come of my coolness points & momma street cred with the monkey. if memory serves me, it goes something like this…

miraculously, i awake to alarm clocks that no one else hears. i wish snooze was in my vocabulary, but most days it's not. i shuffle through the house like a disoriented zombie. the cat tries to kill me by zipping through my legs, because apparently we're racing? i spot the dog, who doesn't want to get up either, & pretends to not have made eye contact. i walk back to monkey's room & in my best june cleaver voice, announce "time to get up!"  i lay clothes out. i say " come on, sweet boy, time to get up"  i make breakfast. i repeat, " time to get up!" i make sure the lunch box has everything needed. i double check homework &/or pack book bags. i say "get dressed...go ahead & eat." i walk back to the bedroom to remind the hubs, "time to get up." i ready toothbrushes with toothpaste. i set shoes, jackets, whatevers out. i ask nicely at least 7-8 times (well, you know)...but no one notices. yet again, " c'mon, get dressed...go ahead & eat." maybe a little bit more stern this time. they notice. “where is your library book?” i ask questions & start conversations that aren't meant to frustrate, but seemingly upset sleepy ones. i attempt to read minds. i realize that i can't read minds. i still can’t find that library book. i change back to mary poppins, but to no avail. i remind  again, "time to go!" i disturb the otherwise happy, nothing to do today moods of the household. but there is stuff to do...it's a weekday of learning...& i found the library book, hooray! i become the enemy. i make husbands grumble & monkeys wrinkle their noses in detest!  i'm a tyrant, a monster, the mother. i plant smooches, wish a super fun awesome happy day & wave fanatically at the door like a big doofus trying to save face! all before i’ve had my coffee!!

eureka! i know what i’ll do different this year…drink my coffee first!