back to school...

as the first week of school begins to marinate, i start to reminisce on summer (from a week ago), & how i was this “good guy,” the cool mom who allowed morning time ample room for ‘cartoon network’ & zelda…even a little minecrafting. all hail “me!” no particular schedules of waking up or going to bed or getting dressed…unless a spectacular occasion called for it. the only thing i would get were the occasional ‘mehs’ of few & far between…when the afternoons finally called for a “let’s go to grammy’s” because of my night classes. but overall, i was awesome!

now, let me fill you in on the non-summer routine…what is to surely come of my coolness points & momma street cred with the monkey. if memory serves me, it goes something like this…

miraculously, i awake to alarm clocks that no one else hears. i wish snooze was in my vocabulary, but most days it's not. i shuffle through the house like a disoriented zombie. the cat tries to kill me by zipping through my legs, because apparently we're racing? i spot the dog, who doesn't want to get up either, & pretends to not have made eye contact. i walk back to monkey's room & in my best june cleaver voice, announce "time to get up!"  i lay clothes out. i say " come on, sweet boy, time to get up"  i make breakfast. i repeat, " time to get up!" i make sure the lunch box has everything needed. i double check homework &/or pack book bags. i say "get dressed...go ahead & eat." i walk back to the bedroom to remind the hubs, "time to get up." i ready toothbrushes with toothpaste. i set shoes, jackets, whatevers out. i ask nicely at least 7-8 times (well, you know)...but no one notices. yet again, " c'mon, get dressed...go ahead & eat." maybe a little bit more stern this time. they notice. “where is your library book?” i ask questions & start conversations that aren't meant to frustrate, but seemingly upset sleepy ones. i attempt to read minds. i realize that i can't read minds. i still can’t find that library book. i change back to mary poppins, but to no avail. i remind  again, "time to go!" i disturb the otherwise happy, nothing to do today moods of the household. but there is stuff to do...it's a weekday of learning...& i found the library book, hooray! i become the enemy. i make husbands grumble & monkeys wrinkle their noses in detest!  i'm a tyrant, a monster, the mother. i plant smooches, wish a super fun awesome happy day & wave fanatically at the door like a big doofus trying to save face! all before i’ve had my coffee!!

eureka! i know what i’ll do different this year…drink my coffee first!

"children"...

one of the many housewarming gifts that i received when the hubs & i purchased our first home was a cute little sign from my sister that read "this place is a zoo."  it was quite the double entrende as hubs' job at the time was primary penguin keeper at the local zoo & also, that our love for animals, far exceeded that of the criminally insane.
but the meaning was appropriate, nonetheless, & still hangs in our house.


to have met someone, who fancied a multitude of beasts, & of all blood temps, was beyond my wildest dreams (yes, i said fancied). & at one time, the then not hubs yet & i had plenty of the food budget split accordingly. there was us (naturally), about 12 reptiles (i think 2-3 were not venomous...eep), a very scary australian trap door spider, 5 bengal kitties we were housing (we ended up with the only female, rita), a domestic shorthair found in a dumpster (or, miss sybil...my faithful tv companion & trip artist to this day). we babysat a tiger once & holy, nightmare...that thing would stalk me when people left the room, but hey, he was cute...ha! & oh my goodness, the two pygmy marmosets that we fostered until our friend set up habitat for them; let's just say, child rearing crash course for the future!


during our courtship/living in sin/i do's, the hubs & i have lovingly housed a ferret, turtles, salt water fishes, a chocolate & white (i know, right) skunk, poison arrow frogs, various reptiles, & have made shelter for numerous, i mean nu-mer-ous, parrots until their forever homes were found.


at the time of said housewarming, our new abode only consisted of a few family members; delia the border collie, sybil & rita, & paco, the quaker parrot. only sybil remains of the original lineup. the monkey loved & lost the other three along with hubs & me. it sucks to lose a pet...always. but, then to experience it with your child? heart wrenching!


sooo...we got the sybil girl & little beagle brother, scout. (who drive each other crazy) & we've added tarantula #1 (spiderus, r.i.p) & tarantula #2 (blue), 6 chickens (or, the girls), a corn snake, 2 red eyed tree frogs, & a fiesty bearded dragon (lula) to our little "zoo." i speak of goats & rabbits often, but get denied (they act like i'm not the one who'll take care of these new additions).


in the meantime, i break for squirrels (even though they steal my tomatoes & peppers in the garden), am in awe of all creatures big & small, love watching birds; even tolerate crazy bugs for the sake of monkey...except for our state (sc) bird, the mosquito...viscous little bloodsuckers...ouch!

i love my animals (yes, even monkey's tarantula), like...love them. maybe it's the momma in me; i've always had an affinity for critters & the need to not only yield to, but nurture them. we share that, the hubs & i...i own that…it's “our” thing.

hiatus...

n. pl. hi·a·tus·es or hiatus
1. a gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break.

so, that's where i've been...somewhere between the mental & literal state. i never meant to be gone so long. it was no vacation, trust me.

i was busy or stifled or lazy or overwhelmed...sometimes underwhelmed or just keeping the all too private journal (i can't not write at all.) i didn't think i had it in me, but the thoughts were there. the anecdotes. the euphemisms. the humor at life. the sadness & distraught of it all. so, i climbed in my tortoise shell & hid like a coward. i was afraid that i'd lost my public display of wordage...the ones that were socially acceptable to speak out.loud. when have i ever been afraid of that? i got words, folks.

& maybe they aren't always the right words. i say things that don't make sense. i make cultural references (okay, of the pop variety) that get question mark faces. & sometimes, i even speak of things that most would shun me of because they're thought of, just not spoken; but they're mine...those words. i take ownership.

i've never set out to hurt another person intentionally. ever. not even a cruel joke at someone else's expense. i am funny...yes. not cruel. (or, i think i'm funny...it varies on the crowd. or maybe it's just me) if it's ever heard or read that way...then, whoops!

anyhoo, my life can't revolve around what i shouldn't have said when i've trained myself to be real. it's hard to be guarded 24/7 scared that a few may not understand me or know of my utterly un-malicious intent.

time to move on with the light & breezy once more. break's over...time to get to work!

background check...

you know how when you're little, you could care less about family heritage, background, which grandpa came from wherever? the stories are cool at first, but then the mind wanders, eyes glaze over, etc. (at least, i remember not really being too terribly stoked on researching it on my own; i see the eyes roll on my own child at my personal excitement.) anyhoo, now is the time that i'm super interested. where do i come from?

i know that there is native american for sure, slavic descendants (discovered at ellis island on a NY trip), & scottish. i have always been intrigued by the mere thought of being the recipient of so many walks of life, culture, language...it's pretty amazing. & any chance i have to experience said culture; well, i'm there! especially, the scottish  aspect, partly because the more i look the more confused i seem to get. & while i may not be absolutely sure of my clan, i have my own trio to help out.

enter tartan day south here in SC yesterday & my humongous grin over the whole event. i think the monkey was scared that i would stick him in a "skirt," but i didn't (yet). i had intentions of wearing my own plaid, but upon last minute length check, decided that my skirt was a bit more catholic school girl...ha; & opted for a green summer dress instead.

the weather (spring finally?) was perfect. flags were flapping in the breeze, people were everywhere; my people! i spoke with several nice folks who were sad that we didn't share a surname, but was reassured that half of the clans weren't even represented. perhaps a trip to grandfather mountain in the summer will unlock some mysteries for me. in the meantime, i will plug away at the ole interwebs! 
(sights & sounds)

bagpipes! reminded me of my wedding :)

sheep herding, anyone?

strong men in kilts tossing logs!

sword fighting.

CHEERS!!

i discovered...

a tombstone with monkey’s middle & last name on it...weirdness.

yet another phone app to become shamelessly addicted to...vine.

chocolate really does make me feel better. ooh, & cheese...but, not at the same time!

i stay up incredibly too late.

i have more faith in others than they do in me...& that's okay!


not sure who snores louder...the hubs or the hound.


everything squeaks in this house!


i have managed to cry a bazillion times over the course of the last month…i believe i’m good for awhile (hopefully).


that this really does work. 325* for 25-30 min for "boiled eggs." (cool in cold water for 10 minutes.)

the best new recipes lately, from sweet to savory…excitement!

i’m super ready for warmer weather.

maybe i secretly want to be a burlesque dancer...eh?

soap tv airs old episodes of ‘beverly hills, 90210’…yes!

i squeal every time i see itty bitty baby animals. 

this hilarious easter picture of monkey from 2006. (how scary is this bunny rabbit?)

shushing up the poor mouth...

this time of year is always a little wonky…financially…for everybody. & unless you’re a bazillionaire or just hit the lotto, the couple of months after the holidays, amidst tax returns (if any), & planning summer vacations can make folks crazy (okay, maybe just me on the vacay part); seems like quite a stretch until that happy bank account appears again. soup & pb&j days, perhaps? (especially with the economy so stupidly unpredictable.) you know, it really doesn’t have to be though. yep, i said it, i believe it! it’s actually pretty simple to save here & there when you plan for it. don’t think of it as being cheap or doing without the “finer” things. think of it as a lifestyle that betters your environment & your pockets; leaving some nice leverage to splurge when you want to! **disclaimer: i am not a money or economic or statistics expert…i repeat, no expert! these are just a few things that i have personally explored or found to be beneficial to our family’s income, livelihood, & sleeping a little better at night-lihood!

1. it's okay to coupon. for reals. you don’t have to stock pile or buy 20 tubes of toothpaste in one swoop, but you’d be surprised how a few trips to the grocery following a list with clippings in hand, each trip, will add up. & who cares about the person rolling their eyes behind you in line when you present your magic money to the clerk. i’ve had this happen before, & when the cashier told me that i’d saved over 40 bucks off of my total (with in-store savings & coupons), i heard a “holy crap!” from the lady behind me…ha! *other times have left me speechless having spent 50 smackers on over $120 shopping spree…all things that were needed & regularly bought!
2. 2nd hand is always new in my closet. be it thrifted or consigned or found at a girlfriend closet swap, there is always something fun waiting to be discovered (& recycled). not to mention, it’s incredible what a box of rit dye can do to refresh an oldie but a goodie. *need ideas or tips on how to get the most bang for your buck (…literally!), then check out refashionista.net!
3. cool on the cheap. there are a million & one free things to do around your area if you are looking. picnics in the park, visiting local playgrounds, scavenger hunts around the city…plus, most museums have a free day at least once a month. & there is almost always a festival of sorts going on. you’ll be amazed at what activities are out there.
4. invest in things that make a difference in the long run. from the simplest reusable water bottle to changing your air conditioner filter every month to slowly replacing all of the household light bulbs to the ecofriendly variety. even using cold water to wash a load of clothes or turning the water off when you brush your teeth; i swear this saves energy & money around the homestead…you will see a difference after awhile.
5. just because it's on sale doesn't make it a bargain. are you guilty of having tagged items hanging in your closet because you’ve never worn them, but it was 75% off? i am. i used to be notorious for this or only wore it once! what the heck? ah, yes…sales. but did you fall in love with it, had to have it because it filled an ensemble void in your life? if not, let it be. it’s not saving shitake at the end of the day if it’s hanging around not being worn slap out. just…let it be!
6. kid's nights. a ton of restaurants offer a kid’s eat free (or at a discount) night with the purchase of an adult entrée. i love this for the simple fact that my child has healthy options besides fast food if i’m away & the hubs is in charge of dinner. (& it’s cheaper)
7. these aren't your momma's leftovers. i have spent countless eons (seems like) trying to predict how much of one single meal will get eaten up entirely because my boys really don’t do the  whole leftover thing. it’s a pain. but, i have discovered the lovely sandra lee on food network (plus, her book) to save me from total food waste. one meal into 2 with a little planning & creativity. her recipes are feasible, economical, & 2^nd day transformational! you’re gonna love her…& she caters to all food lifestyles, little ones, etc.
8. free literature! i don’t want to even think about all the years, pre-monkey, that i went without a library card…*cringe! no holdup necessary…um, free. it’s an all-access to travel, food, adventures, drama, chaos…endless possibilities, people! i’m a huge lover of tv, the interwebs, & “hellooo” book store-a-ramas; however, the library makes me so happy. & my monkey lights up at the thought of even visiting it (seriously!). books, magazines (which cost a bazill anymore), audio books (a la no time for hitting the big ole paper weights, but plenty of time in the car), free downloads for you kindle, nook, etc, movie checkouts; even internet access, if you’re without at home. it really is a shame to not take advantage!
9. DIY or barter. costs can be cut when you dissect a project & figure out that you can do-it-yourself! really, you can. & the accomplishment is very rewarding. but, if you feel that you can’t reach the desiredness of a certain feat, i bet you know someone who can. do you knit, but hate to paint…know a painter who needs a scarf? (see where i’m going with this?)

in a nutshell, treat yourself! you work hard, don't feel like you can't enjoy it! but, seek out the resources that are available (& awesome & remorseless) so that you aren’t overwhelmed when the unexpected dollar amounts tend to knock you upside the noggin...you know, when you’re least expecting it. 

bucket list, anyone?...

so…within the last two weeks i have received devastating news regarding two deaths…both on tuesdays…both so shocking…both breaking my heart into pieces. the first, one of my cousins, who was killed under a most violent & tragic circumstance (24). the second, a dear friend & fellow classmate who exuded light, laughter, & love, gone suddenly (35…just celebrated a birthday). anyways, i have been kind of in a fog emotionally & mentally. i can never really make heads or tails of these situations.

then, there was a weirdness that the universe sent out the other day as i was straightening up around the house. under a stack of papers (monkey’s schoolwork, drawings, & the like), i came across a steno book buried at the bottom. i flipped through it to see if it could be of any use; enough empty pages or filled up, etc. as soon as i opened it, it fell open towards the back where a list stared back at me. apparently, i had started jotting notes down in this little spiral-bound notebook back in 2005 (perhaps when my insomnia first began) & i had completely forgotten about it. it’s filled with poems, a few pages of a short story i was writing at the time, guests/food/party supplies needed for monk’s first birthday, bill totals added up with a frowny face nearby…but this list is what intrigued me the most. it was a “things to do”…a bucket list, if you will. would you like to know what I had rattled off? (i’m going to share it, but you already guessed that, didn’t you?) p.s. **denotes the already haves or the ooh, so closes.

-run a 5k, 10k, marathon. **run? ha. i’ve walked a few smaller, similar type engagements.

-learn to climb.

-learn to ride a bike. **& check (seriously!)

-obtain a passport. **yep!

-go snorkeling.

-go white water rafting.

-read all of the classics. **i’ve made an earnest attempt…that is, relying on the definition of literary “classics.”

-attend a taping of ‘saturday night live.’

-go back to chicago. revisit the second city.

-travel to at least 2 other continents.

-vacation on a beautiful island. **st. lucia in 2010 & it was ah-mazingly gorgeous…so want to go back!

-visit every state in the u.s. **east coast i’ve got about covered & then a couple, but maybe only 18 out of 50 so far.

-audition for a play. improv? standup?

-make my way back to school for a specialized art course. **kind of doing that right now.

-learn how to cook for real & not from boxes. **all hail food network, foodie blogs, & my fascination with cookbooks, but still a work in progress!

-refine my french & learn a 3^rd language. **trying!

-join a sports team. **uh-huh, roller derby (best time of my life)

-go to a broadway show in new york. **i’ve been to ny & seen several “off broadway” productions, but not the combo just yet.

-write a children’s book.

-see the mona lisa, la pieta, the sistine chapel, john lennon’s grave, the gum wall in seattle, seven wonders…all in person.

-purchase a rosary in vatican city.

-stay in a castle in scotland.

-jump out of an airplane.

-go up in a hot air balloon.

-play the slots in vegas. **does atlantic city or harrah’s in cherokee count?

okay, i’ve hardly crossed them all off, but now that i am seeing it again, maybe i can. & add some stuff? is this a sign to stop jotting down to do’s & start living? i think so…i hope so. a most pleasant sign. thank you, universe, for reminding me that i still desire acting out these (maybe to some) silly, yet attainable dreams!

what would be on your list? you know what? go for it…every day is a chance to draw that line through or give it a big check! besides, i never want my epitaph to read that i didn’t at least try.