"double, double toil and trouble; fire burn, and caldron bubble..."

i would be ashamed of myself if i didn’t report my fabulous kitchen witchery that took place at the casa over the weekend. i know, i know…but everybody preps & cooks for hours on a saturday, right?! okay, so maybe or maybe not. let me just say, it made me extremely happy to experience it…i totally did a mason jar jig over it. yes…i have used my jars! & i welcome you all to phase 1 of my "mason jar meals"…well, sort of.

first, it’s so ridiculous & you may even shake your head at me. now, i’m no chef boyardee & thank goodness (for my boys) because the smell of “speghetti-o’s” make the masses run in these parts. but i love them! childhood fave & still to this point, but the hubs hates the thought of this classic permeating through the house…plus, the monkey (who won’t touch a kid-staple like mac n’ cheese) well, we all know what a picky thing he is! but, when i stumbled across this homemade (& then mason jarred) recipe for memories of childhood goodness, i got really giddy! *& it was proved “barf proof”per http://www.bigredkitchen.com/2011/10/barf-stops-here.html…hooray!

it goes a little something like this…

1/3 cup vidalia onion, minced fine
1 t. olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
4 cups good beef stock

1/2 pound ground chuck
1 t. kosher salt
1 egg
1/2 cup plain bread crumbs
2 t. dried minced onions- not powder
1/2 t. garlic powder
1/2 cup finely grated parmesan cheese

28 ounces canned peeled ground tomatoes
12 ounces "o" shaped or "abc" mini pastas
1/2 cup finely grated parmesan cheese
1 t. butter
kosher salt and pepper to taste

in a large pot sweat onions in olive oil, stirring often. once the onions are translucent, stir in garlic and cook for about one minute. add stock and bring to a boil. meanwhile in a large bowl mix- chuck, salt, egg, bread crumbs, dried minced onions, garlic powder, and parmesan cheese until well blended. drop by small balls (about the size of a hazelnut) into the boiling broth. boil 5 minutes. add tomatoes, pasta, cheese, butter, and salt and pepper to taste. stirring frequently simmer until the pasta is al dente. pour into 10 wide-mouth (8ounce) mason jars or other containers of choice. store in the

refrigerator until ready to eat. microwave to reheat. *(& youch…handle with care, just so you know!)

naturally, i omitted the meatball part & subbed the stock for veggie. holy cow, so good! (& i mean that as unbiased as possible) omg, the best part! monkey…l-o-v-e-s them! yes! i was so nervous; you’d thought i was running an oober fancy restaurant with a world renowned food critic!! seriously. crazy how hard we mommas strive to please, but i love it. & the heart singing pay-off is worth more than my weight in gold.

between me to you…if you burn the crap out of your onions in the sweating attempt (i don’t think they’re supposed to turn black) heck, it’s cool. take your pan off of the eye…mince ‘em up again & go for it (i did). also, i filled (5) 16 oz jars. it’s all about tweaking stuff, right?! & p.s. vegetable stock is insanely hard to find or there is like, one brand offered…the recipe i found post location was a no-brainer & super cheap & easy &  probably what you already have in the fridge waiting to brown & dumpster…it’s too easy; trust, i will not pay more than 5 dollars for veggie stock again! (not to sound cheap, but i hate to see food go to waste when it has many uses outside of being pretty)

you'll notice a jar is missing...woo-hoo, success! 

next on my list was something that i had always wanted to try. i have always been a super fan of…apple butter. it is one of the yummiest things that i’ve ever tasted, & my family loves it, so i knew i’d have to at least give it a go. coincidentally, we had gotten a new book in the children’s library, the budding chef (which is an awesome cookbook to share with your little one!) eureka! my sign. i went to the store & gathered the ingredients that i lacked in the cupboard. a crock pot recipe was behind this instant motivation…how easy would this be. upon closer inspection of this truly great recipe, i concluded that there had to be a simpler way (that wouldn’t take 2 or more days.) actually, i got confused half way through…surprise, surprise! hey, i am pretty savvy in the kitch, but huh? anyhoo, i hit the google “help me feel smarter quick” button on the ole laptop. a-ha moment. & i found a recipe that called for 98% of the recipe that i had intended for. & who can beat 9-ish hours? let the crocking begin! http://www.crock-pot.com/Recipe.aspx?rid=452

true to the original recipe, but again…used my intuition & this is what i got: (a duo-ecipe?):

3 lbs med sizes cooking apples (peeled & chopped)

2 tsp cinnamon

3 3/4 cups sugar

1 tsp ground cloves

stir all ingredients in crock pot. cover; cook on high for 1 hour and then on low for 7 hours, or until the apple butter is thick and brown. stir occasionally throughout the day. *stir, people, stir…i even smashed at times! apple butter will thicken as it cools. spoon into sterilized pint jars and seal. if sealed, will keep for 1 year.

*i didn’t have pint jars (or enough) for this recipe. but filled almost (3) 16 oz jars. it still had apple chunks, which we liked very much, but i guess another hour would satiate a less chunky desire. one is already dipped into & the other 2 will be distributed among smaller jars for tastings.  *don’t be afraid to play with it!

so, wow, this was my saturday afternoon/evening. yep, little ole me; don’t be jealous! all kidding aside, i adore this sort of thing. i do! listening to music all day in my kitchen, stirring up goodies in my stainless steel & ceramic “cauldrons!” (especially when it appeases the peanut gallery.) almost like i’m in my own little bubble…utopi-ash? hope that this inspires or delights or gives cooking lull –ishness ideas to someone out there! bon appetite! (& more delish mason shared ideas to come…eeee, i am way too smiley over this…someone come slap me!)



looks are everything...

by now, you've probably guessed what i do in my free time..this & that of all things random. but what about my job? do you wonder what i do at work? no? well, too bad, because i'm sharing. aaaand go!

i am a county employee...sounds fun, huh?! part time children's library assistant at the local public library...somewhat better. but what does that mean? well, it means i work with the public, children, computers (a little bit), help find books/pull books/sort books/straighten books/shelve books, help with homework/research/science fair project ideas, smile a lot, laugh, sing songs, listen to jokes/chit-chat from regular patrons, color, pick up toys, give hugs, etc. (sounds awesome, right?) well, it's not the worst job in the world, but all that stuff up there only adds up to about an hour to an hour a half a day. & then i'm just bored searching for something to do! i'm not "ADD," but i am a little bi-polar & a little amy poehler (aka kaitlin..."remember that, rick!") & i cannot sit still to save my life! definitely not one to be constrained to a chair behind a desk all day. i have to be moving & shaking or working on a project...it's all about creative juices, people.

enter my favorite part of employment by this very quiet building where time goes to stand still...book displays! having experienced signage & displays & mannequins & vitrines in my past artistic life of visual for a department store, i am always looking for ways to make the children's department seem fun & inviting & pretty/cutesy. unfortunately, i have no "budget" for these displays, but no worries. i need nothing more than recycled objects, construction paper/card stock/poster board, scissors...you know, the basics.

i have gotten positive responses to my many displays & collectively as a department, due to the fact that i am not the only one who has "ideas!" but this is not why i am always trying to come up with something new. i actually like things to change. fresh colors surrounding me. challenging my idle brain & hands. it makes me happy, makes the time go by faster, & i feel i've found my niche!

i wish i had taken pictures before now, but here are some from this week. so, yep, this is what i do at work!

398 is where you can find fairy/folk tales using the ole dewey decimal system!

display cases...

signs & posters for upcoming programs...



what happens when i stumble upon a bag of birds, poster tubes, & shelve a copy of the jungle book!

& then there's this...yet one more reason why i enjoy doing displays at work...(pre shredded paper grass)





"don't it make my brown eyes blue"...

it's no surprise at this point, that music is huge with me. every mood seems to have its own playlist in my head & certain genres or artists are just a given with my day to day goings on. but, for some reason, i don't necessarily have to be totally in the dumps to listen to a good sad song. ya know, something you can belt out when that crescendo of music starts or the vocals reach that heart wrenching moment. i'll admit, some songs i can't even get through without tearing up...now that's talented song writing there, folks! (or i'm just a big ole sap) either way, these are some of my fave sad song lyrics that get me...every time!

“while life goes on around him everywhere, he’s playing solitaire” the carpenters…”solitaire”

“my love was punished long ago. if you still care, don't ever let me know.” slipknot…”snuff”

“it won't do to dream of caramel, to think of cinnamon and long for you. it won't do to stir a deep desire, to fan a hidden fire that can never burn true” suzanne vega…”caramel”

"i've heard it said that dreamers never lie" crystal gayle..."talking in your sleep"

“anyplace is better. starting from zero got nothing to lose.” tracy chapman…”fast car”

“we only said good bye with words. i died a hundred times. you go back to her & i go back to black” amy winehouse…”back to black”

“i love him, but when the night is over. he’s gone. the river’s just a river.” eponine/les miserable…”on my own”

“haven’t had a dream in a long time” the smiths “please, please, please, let me get what i want”

“he said, girl, you better try to have fun no matter what you do. but he’s a fool” sinead o’connor…“nothing compares 2 u”

“i gotta have my suffering so that i can have my cross” tori amos…”crucify”

 “on summer days i bring flowers for you. autumn leaves blow with the silence of you” the millions...”west”

 “and you could have it all my empire of dirt. i will let you down. i will make you hurt” johnny cash…”hurt”

 “god knew little andy would be lonesome with her gone. now sandy and her puppy dog won't ever be alone.” dolly parton…”me and little andy”

 “tell my wife i love her very much” david bowie…”space oddity”

 “if you could save me from the ranks of the freaks who suspect they could never love anyone” aimee mann…“save me”

 “a breaking heart in an empty apartment was the loudest sound i ever heard” the submarines…”brighter discontent”

 “if only i'd thought of the right words i wouldn't be breaking apart all my pictures of you” the cure…“pictures of you”

“well my heart's stopped pumping but my blood is still alive” ugly casanova…”cat faces”

 “this time he's over her for good” george jones…”he stopped loving her today”

 “love is not a victory march. it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah” jeff buckley…”hallelujah”

 “the shorter story. no love, no glory. no hero in her sky” damien rice…“the blower’s daughter”

 “and there's not enough room in this world for my pain” indigo girls…”ghost”

 “you loved me 'cause i'm fragile. when i thought that i was strong.” sara bareilles…”gravity”

 “who’s gonna pay attention to your dreams?” the cars…”drive”

 “in starlit nights i saw you. so cruelly you kissed me” echo & the bunnymen…”the killing moon”

 “but tell me you love me, come back and haunt me” coldplay…“the scientist”

 “we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year” pink floyd…“wish you were here”

 “and i find it kind of funny, i find it kind of sad. the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had” tears for fears…”mad world”

 “the rumors flew, but nobody knew how much she blamed herself” brad paisley & allison krauss…”whiskey lullaby”

 “these few words're written on that stand. at the bottom of this mine lies a big big man” jimmy dean…“big bad john”

 “the worst part is there's no-one else to blame” sia…“breathe me”

 “i want you to notice when i’m not around” radiohead…”creep”

 “i’ve got your memory, or has it got me?” patsy cline…“she’s got you”

 “i heard the voices of friends vanished and gone” bruce springsteen…”streets of philadelphia” 

 “tomorrow leave the windows open, as fear grows please hold me in your arms” elton john…“the last song”

free bracelet day...

so today was weird. do i share, do i not? when it comes to personal experiences that require me to don a medical gown & iv, i’m not sure. but seeing as how i’m able to write this tale now…i think it’ll be alright.

as i’m leaving work earlier (1:30ish), it happens…another anxiety type attack; where i feel like someone’s stabbing me in the chest with a hot poker & slowly tightening their grip around my neck. OH CRAP! i make it to the parking lot, car, & put the key in the ignition. i get halfway home & the pain is rapidly getting worse & my heart is beating as if i’m about to jump out of an airplane or something (but not in the good adrenaline type of way).

as soon as i walk in the door, i see the hubs home for lunch…& he sees the fear on my face. he is quick to ask a thousand questions; what’s wrong, what can i do, can i get you something, do you need water? & i am in a tizzy. i can’t breathe & the pain keeps a strong & gnarly pace. the only thing i can think is…this has happened before, but not this bad…breathe, ash, breathe! you have to pick up monkey in 25 minutes! *baby aspirin…that’s what he can do. run to the pharmacy & grab baby aspirin, right?! can’t hurt, so he does. (also, i don’t make it to the carpool line today. the hubs goes in my place.)

he isn’t gone 10 minutes & i realize, okay this is not cool at all. a quick text reads “not better still. should i go to ER? can you get babes called to the office for pickup?”

(if this sounds crazy & like i’m forming my sentences incorrectly, it’s okay…it’s the way i have felt for hours)

anyways, the boys come home & i’m ready to go. i was so nervous & scared & unsure about even going, but i think it’s important to listen to your body. you never freaking know!

on the drive, it’s quiet. i’m still, but shaking at the same time. & by the way, glad that the laundry was caught up & i had decent underwear on & not a pair of bathing suit bottoms or worse! (you feel me, ladies?) not that that makes a difference, but i don’t know. i’m on my way to the hospital & for some reason i hear my mother saying “make sure you have on good underwear, just in case.”

we enter through the automatic sliding doors & i begin to sob. it was literally 2 minutes & i was in a room; temp, blood pressure, quick assess. then wheeled (as in wheel chair) down the hall to another room. this is real…really real & so strange feeling. i’m handed a lovely gown to get in to as i wait. doctor comes in & does his questions, stethoscope thing; explains what the nurse will do next. he (nurse) comes in to do vitals. bloodwork, EKG…this is just crazy. EKG reminded me of hooking up a car battery to get a kick start...black to black & red to red...except with lots more hook em ups. then off to do chest xrays. another nurse gives me an aspirin (chest pain protocol). i continue to cry like a mess. & it seems like i cry more every time someone new comes in, like a child who is asked about a bandaid & is then compelled to rehash the whole booboo experience! i am ridiculous, but still incredibly terrified & worried.

after more than a couple of hours of all this work up & test & “designer” gowns & an iv in my arm, we get results. cardiac…clear & healthy. pulmonary…lovely & normal. i’m fine (with the heart of a 16 year old…he he)…fine! other than an esophageal “explosion” (possibly caused by stress…me? stressed? that’s insane *insert sarcasm)

basically, folks, i had one hell of a case of heartburn! & yes it hurts like hell. i know, right?! slightly embarrassed by my dramatics, but validated by the doc, who did say that i took the right actions, women do not always show the same signs of heart attack as men, & from his own experience (of having a father who had a heart attack at 37) he totally understood my fear & concern. & just like my own pops, this condition is hereditary. (one more thing we have in common…i am my father’s daughter!)

at the end of the day, i am so relieved. happy that i know why this happened, things i can do to prevent it, &/or how to (if/when it does happen again) take the steps to help it. isn’t getting older fun? kidding, but serious.

moral: listen to your bodies, people. even if it seems silly. cheers to healthy hearts. & yay for tackling this smoking thing now rather than later. (which a serious work in progress!)

plus, i got a free bracelet! but, you really don’t want this accessory…they put your age on it & everything!

ps...can't wait to see what my insurance "won't" pay for...got my brown paper bag, omeprazole, & baby aspirin ready!!

"give me a kiss to build a dream on"...

i’m not sure when i acquired this fantasy, happily ever after, romantic, dreamy-eyed side of myself. of course, every little girl at some point picks up on love & kissing & hearts & trumpets that sound doves in the air…it’s geared in our gender direction. (boys are tough…grrr.) always a lover of fairy tales & love stories. been writing poems about this since i could...well, write. & i remember being a huge JEM admirer; part regular girl & part rock star, who had a boyfriend who took a liking to each persona. “who is he kissing?” indeed, JEM! (you were truly outrageous!) but, as we grow, some of us lose that make believe shit quick…teen pfft attitudes, the one that broke our heart, the love stinks mantra. but not me. i admit, i am still that little girl daydreaming about spending her days with the one…embracing, gazing, forever & ever. damn you, john hughes!! (are you throwing up yet? stay focused, people!)

reality check! this happens though, right? somewhere? not just in hollywood; in the movies…please. ugh, it does, but it truly doesn’t have to! i have a friend who once posed this mind blowing comparison to me about romance…disney vs shakespeare. & being the hopeless gal that i am, i beg that there has to be a happy, yet realistic medium. i often think about this though, because i so love the polar opposites of the ideology of love & relationship! impossible expectations either way, but so lovely (& twisted on so many levels!!)

wow…insert heart on this sleeve…right here. seriously! & it’s not that my heart has never been broken. oh, baby, it has. but, it’s all good. i still believe in love & allll its glory. & i wouldn’t have been married 12 years if i didn’t. (not always picture book, but love, nonetheless)

sooo, let me back up a bit, as i am speaking of romance, but referencing love. they are intertwined, yes (i think), but can & do, in the “real world” mean two totally different things. let’s ask the ole dictionary, shall we?!

romance:   rō-măns', rō'măns') n.

1.  
1. a love affair.
2. ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love: they kept the romance alive in their marriage for 35 years.
3. a strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something: a childhood romance with the sea.
2. a mysterious or fascinating quality or appeal, as of something adventurous, heroic, or strangely beautiful: "these fine old guns often have a romance clinging to them" (richard jeffries).
3.  
1. a long medieval narrative in prose or verse that tells of the adventures and heroic exploits of chivalric heroes: an arthurian romance.
2. a long fictitious tale of heroes and extraordinary or mysterious events, usually set in a distant time or place.
3. the class of literature constituted by such tales.
4.  
1. an artistic work, such as a novel, story, or film, that deals with sexual love, especially in an idealized form.
2. the class or style of such works.
5. a fictitiously embellished account or explanation: we have been given speculation and romance instead of the facts.
6. music. a lyrical, tender, usually sentimental song or short instrumental piece.
7. romance: the romance language

love: (lŭv) n.

1. a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2. a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3.  
1. sexual passion.
2. sexual intercourse.
3. a love affair.
4. an intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
5. a person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. often used as a term of endearment.
6. an expression of one's affection: send him my love.
7.  
1. a strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
2. the object of such an enthusiasm: the outdoors is her greatest love.
8. love mythology. eros or cupid.
9. often love christianity. charity.
10. sports. a zero score.

in a book or prose or greek rhapsody, i’d engulf most of these as my own. but okay, enter everyday & whatever. i feel those definitions; to break it down…this is my idealistic view of romance. & there are so many more random acts of kindness that could easily fit this bill; for now, i’ll keep it simple. & real.  

kissing in the rain. slow dancing for no particular reason…music or no music. black & white films, photographs. ART museums. louis armstrong, especially “la vie en rose.” ANAIS NIN. swing era…jazz…big band music. tom cruise singing to kelly mcgillis in ‘top gun.’ reading poetry out loud to each other. eye contact (you know the one). "june cleaver" in her apron, being swept off her feet in a deep embrace for baking cookies. fascination in one another.picnics in random, quiet places. giggling for hours. watching movies on the same couch. fantastic meals together. holding hands along walks. love letters. weddings. passion, etc. paris…i will get there one day. sweet surprises. kissing, kissing, & more kissing!

am i truly a silly girl struggling with fantasy & reality? i don’t think so. maybe i’ve hit accord with some other romantics out there…maybe not. (it happens) but this is me with my rose colored glasses. love & romance go hand in hand…they have to! one thrives off of the other. you can appreciate a love, but without romance…do they know?  am i a lost spirit swimming around in an endless ocean of sappy, hopelessness? i sure hope not! i do & show & love freely because i want to…is it wrong to doe-fully wish for the same in return? i sincerely hope that i am not a dying breed.

& sex…whoa, that’s a whole ‘nother animal! it is. (sorry, boys…it’s true!) *but we should check into that too, yes?! in the land of far, far away…

"don't call it a comeback"...

but i have to LL, that’s what it’s called…comeback sauce. hmm…sauce = good; any sauce is good. comeback? the foodie in me was intrigued. a little nom nom that i had seen on pinterest (did you have any doubt) & had to try! the recipe will follow, folks, i promise, but you know me…i have to lure you in.

the ingredients were so simple & i had most all of them at my grasp. now, the 1^st two ingredients were exciting to me…scary to the hubs. “mayonnaise, ugh…oh, gah, ketchup? nasty.” (okay, so i added the “nasty” part, but i could totally see it in his face.) i quickly shoo him away, as i usually do with him & monkey. some finished meals are best when they are unmonitored during the process. what the picky twosome don’t know or see severely helps my overall finale. (crazy how the way something looks or what it has in it can automatically make you not want to even try it! it’s true.)

now, i used to have this friend growing up who would take packets of mayo & ketchup at say, mcdonald’s, or wherever we were, & mix the two together for her fries. omg, i would cringe (as some of you may be now), but it’s not that bad a combo. plus, i’m pretty sure that’s basically what this comeback sauce is at this point. but as the recipe keeps going, i’m loving the tsp of this & that happening in my bowl. mmmm…

next stop…mason jar!! (whoo whoo…& yes! i have some of those gems coming soon) & into the fridge for (hopefully) overnight success!

day 2:

my sauce has sat patiently, waiting to be tested out. i didn’t even sneak a taste…i wanted to try it with its soon to be paired with shrimp, potato, & onion boil. ooh, can i just tell you how freakin spot on my shrimp was tonight…seriously, perfect (i was so happy!) & that mason jar full of orange-y speckled goodness was a super hit. the hubs, who confessed that he couldn’t watch me make it (i knew it!) did really, really like it! & we did come back. though it didn’t make me want to slap my momma, i find myself now wondering…what shall i dip, smear, or drink with it tomorrow? decisions, decisions.

okay, enough with my blabbing & on to the recipe! now, i am not sure originally where it came from (which i hate because i always feel it’s important to give credit where it’s due), but apparently it’s one of those “passed down” types of things. enjoy!

comeback sauce:

1 cup duke’s mayo (i used regular kraft)

¼ cup ketchup

¼ cup chili sauce

1 heaping tsp dijon mustard

1 tsp onion powder

½ tsp garlic powder

2 tsp worcestershire sauce

1 tsp ground black pepper

¼ tsp tabasco sauce

¼ cup light olive oil (i used evoo…what i had in the cabinet)

juice of one lemon

mix all ingredients well & store in refrigerator overnight

*this is a teensy bit spicy concoction, but in no way hot. our family enjoys a little more kick, so i think i’ll use ¼ tsp of the rooster sauce (sriracha) in lieu of tabasco next go round. & also i doubled this recipe to fill a widemouth 24 ounce jar.

disgustoid is my middle name…

smoker…bleck & sick of it! such a pain in the butt to quit though…i don’t wanna quit you sticks of ‘bacco. but, i have to…it’s time. i made a list of pros & cons, & the cons so outweigh the pros on these scales that i’m holding. & i do want to quit…i do! i do!

top ten reasons that i really want & need to nip this bud:

10. not having to hear other people telling me how bad it is for me. “really? the surgeon general said what? i had no idea!” okay, so i’m a smartass & i really could care less what other people think, but it is kind of a stigma. i mean, i know it’s bad, folks, but it’s my deal. & people are mean about smoking! look, everyone has their vice &/or bad habit. i am hoping to cut it out completely…very soon! but that is because i say i am ready to. you can't quit upon another's suggestion...not that simple. *& the funny thing is, the absolute worst people who comment on smoking are ex smokers! so annoying…congrats on your great achievement! yes, i’m still a “loser!”

9. i stink like smoke…all the time! even though i don’t smoke in my home & it’s not all absorbed in my clothes, furniture, bedding, etc. it’s still on me, in my hair, on my clothes. & i can smell myself, especially at work, my parent’s house, & any other non-smoking establishment.

8. constantly waiting to smoke…break time…after i eat…excusing myself from friends at bars, parties, etc. to go outside. rain, sleet, snow, or blazing ass heat finds me outside puffing. craziness, right?! feel almost bound to this habit…at its mercy. & i am…totally!

7. 599 problems, but a bitch ain’t one! ingredients…additives!! five hundred & ninety nine of them…um, holy crap! among the poisons that i recognized & over half the shit that i can’t pronounce, a word stuck out to me like a neon freaking sign…ambergris! yep, that’s right…whale vomit! (sperm whale, to be exact) & i found this out from an extremely reliable source, but i just had to see it in black & white for myself. regurgitation at its finest…yum yum!

6. it’s affecting my groove! i’m pretty sure that i’d be more awesome (then i already am) at ‘just dance’ if i didn’t have to take a “let me catch my breath” break after 2 songs. well, that & i’m totally out of shape, but why deviate from the situation at hand?

5. “dolla, dolla bills, ya’ll.” so freaking expensive! & i live in a state where they’re probably the cheapest & i use coupons! (of course, i do) i remember a time when i said “i’m quitting when cigarettes go over $2 a pack”…ha…ha…ugh.

4. over 35 & on birth control. i know, too much information, but it’s true. you know all those commercials when they go into the risk…yea, totally in that category. aye! scary stuff.

3. vanity…oh, the vanity! i refuse to lose any more of my youth at my own hands. that sounds horrible, but it’s true! i do not want yellow fingernails, yellow teeth, & lines that run this way & that across my face & hands (not yet! too soon!). it’s like i’m wasting double the money on creams & lotions & teeth whitening only to cancel it out, ya know?!

2. life…a long one for $1000, alex! i always hear these statistics, & it is finally resonating with me…finally. i’ve seen the black lungs in jars, seen folks on oxygen, & know, personally, cancer survivors & even more non. i’m not a cold hearted person at all & these things should have been more important to me, but i was looking from the outside in. when i was younger, it seemed these were old people illnesses. it wasn’t “me,” so that “aha” moment didn’t quite click at those moments in time. does that make sense?

& number…

1. monkey, monkey, monkey! i’ve quit smoking before…march 2004. it was a no brainer…i was prego! my reasoning at the time was simple. i had a non-smoking mother & clean slate, so i felt it was only fair to the little him/her that would be in our lives. & i did good, too. didn’t miss it at all the entire pregnancy. after birth, i nursed & still no cravings. this didn’t last too long, unfortunately. when he was around 9 months old, i started sneaking one here & there, & then after a “ladies night” & bumming a smoke or two, it was on. why oh why? so here i am, 6 years later, wanting & needing to quit for my little guy again! i owe it to him…myself, to be his mom for as long as possible! he needs me. plus, he knows it’s bad (not sure why, but yea) & gives me that sad face when he knows i’m going out to smoke. gah, the guilt (please…not the sad face! that is the worse face ever!) 

sooo…there they are. i’m convinced. but it’s a wicked little habit to break; im trying. in the mean time, keep the positive vibes coming my way; that no heads get ripped off, no public meltdowns, nails stay intact & aren’t chewed to the nub, & that the box of little debbie fudge rounds aren’t ravaged in a late night escapade!

p.s. my smoker friends...you are still my friends, regardless. we probably know more about each other from the times we camped out together away from the herd...ha! i promise not to judge or alienate when i (fingers crossed) quit the "club!"

his name is monkeeey...

                   

"and he likes to do draw-rings!" (had to make that snl reference...sorry)
so i did it...i asked my little artist if i could post some of his artwork. (the papers that surround me in cute little piles daily) & not only was he thrilled about it, but he handpicked the pieces & drew up two new ones especially for you all!


art is my all time fave thing in the world...has been my whole life; every aspect imaginable. & for my child to embrace it as a past time (before video games some times...i said some!) is totally freaking cool! any creative outlook is mandatory for me, so it's neat that he appreciates art so much at 7. i think it's in his dna...hubs is quite the ar-tiste (if you remember from 'see a female colossus...' july 17, 2011)
okay, without any more shameless gushing (hey, it's a momma's job, right?!) i present this mini exhibit...enjoy! (he named each picture too, by the way!)

oviparous

robot

 rayman

mario at bowser's castle

sonic vs the underwater dragon

ain't kid art grand? if in 20 years you read about him, you can say you saw some of the first draw-rings...just joking. (but would that be cool or what?!) hey, it could happen...

'twas a night full of sad faces...

i have…a random fruit snack wrapper under the couch…various faint stains in the carpet (every color juice has been represented at least once)…a sock turned inside-out on the floor. the rug stays crumpled or rolled (straightened every night). my pillows are always smushed or balled up (perpetually fluffing). we have to clean sweep the floors nightly before the dog comes in…he’s a chewer. if the 3ds isn’t plugged in before bed, i get a super sad face come morning.  rubbermaid containers house legos, bakugans, crayons, etc. & are located throughout these stomping grounds. drawings of mario & sonic the hedgehog line the dinner table & rug. i trip over tennis shoes on the daily. i get my booty kicked at everything from the memory game to video games…even when i’m trying like really hard. the sink is always full of tiny cups to be cleaned…always. i am constantly saying “stop running!” i’m more than resourceful at finding new, fun, & disguising ways at food creation when it comes to a picky little eater. my down time starts after 9pm (give…or give 30 minutes) each night.

but none of that stuff matters when a little monkey is so super sick with a tummy bug that you want to cry. last night, i wasn’t concerned with a house that screamed “a 7 year old lives here!”

my favorite sidekick was throwing up (most awful thing ever) like every hour from 9ish to 1:30am…enter sad face. the absolute worst thing as a momma (or dad; because the hubs & i kept tagging each other in) is when your child is sick! luckily, it’s not often…very few & far between (where the heck is some wood for knocking?), but i feel completely helpless when that crappy time has arrived. you are stuck watching, nurturing, & waiting, when all you want to do is just take it all away.

the hubs finally told me to go to bed at 2…they camped out on the couches (equipped with a “vomit bowl” & towels…yes, it was that bad!) & i had our bed all to myself. i felt guilty, but i had to be at work at 8:15 this morning, so that was a most kind gesture from that big ole lug!

i managed to make it 5 hours at work…i wasn’t feeling too terribly hot myself & was all “oh crap!” (im a stomach virus magnet, folks…for real! but did not endure the yucky throw up-ness…still waiting on that wood!)

after “chillaxin” (as monkey says) throughout the rest of the afternoon, i could tell he was much better, just exhausted. it was especially clear when he put his little foot in my face & said “here, smell my foot!” then proceeded to laugh for 5 minutes…what a little crazy man i have! & whew, what a relief!

so, yea…at the end of the day i could care less about spills & toys & papers everywhere. (although milk spills ain’t no joke, get those up pronto! super smelly after they dry…you’re welcome!) as long as i have a healthy & happy home, i am as content as can be! (i had lost sight of that for a sec...makes everyday silly dramas seem sincerely obselete) having a sick monkey is not cool…i prefer mine to be wild & laughing all the time…even if i am constantly saying “stop running!”

ps…think i’m going to have to feature all that beautiful artwork (or some…there’s a lot) in the next blog! with permission from the artist, of course.