so today was weird. do i share, do i not? when it comes to personal experiences that require me to don a medical gown & iv, i’m not sure. but seeing as how i’m able to write this tale now…i think it’ll be alright.
as i’m leaving work earlier (1:30ish), it happens…another anxiety type attack; where i feel like someone’s stabbing me in the chest with a hot poker & slowly tightening their grip around my neck. OH CRAP! i make it to the parking lot, car, & put the key in the ignition. i get halfway home & the pain is rapidly getting worse & my heart is beating as if i’m about to jump out of an airplane or something (but not in the good adrenaline type of way).
as soon as i walk in the door, i see the hubs home for lunch…& he sees the fear on my face. he is quick to ask a thousand questions; what’s wrong, what can i do, can i get you something, do you need water? & i am in a tizzy. i can’t breathe & the pain keeps a strong & gnarly pace. the only thing i can think is…this has happened before, but not this bad…breathe, ash, breathe! you have to pick up monkey in 25 minutes! *baby aspirin…that’s what he can do. run to the pharmacy & grab baby aspirin, right?! can’t hurt, so he does. (also, i don’t make it to the carpool line today. the hubs goes in my place.)he isn’t gone 10 minutes & i realize, okay this is not cool at all. a quick text reads “not better still. should i go to ER? can you get babes called to the office for pickup?”
(if this sounds crazy & like i’m forming my sentences incorrectly, it’s okay…it’s the way i have felt for hours)anyways, the boys come home & i’m ready to go. i was so nervous & scared & unsure about even going, but i think it’s important to listen to your body. you never freaking know!
on the drive, it’s quiet. i’m still, but shaking at the same time. & by the way, glad that the laundry was caught up & i had decent underwear on & not a pair of bathing suit bottoms or worse! (you feel me, ladies?) not that that makes a difference, but i don’t know. i’m on my way to the hospital & for some reason i hear my mother saying “make sure you have on good underwear, just in case.”we enter through the automatic sliding doors & i begin to sob. it was literally 2 minutes & i was in a room; temp, blood pressure, quick assess. then wheeled (as in wheel chair) down the hall to another room. this is real…really real & so strange feeling. i’m handed a lovely gown to get in to as i wait. doctor comes in & does his questions, stethoscope thing; explains what the nurse will do next. he (nurse) comes in to do vitals. bloodwork, EKG…this is just crazy. EKG reminded me of hooking up a car battery to get a kick start...black to black & red to red...except with lots more hook em ups. then off to do chest xrays. another nurse gives me an aspirin (chest pain protocol). i continue to cry like a mess. & it seems like i cry more every time someone new comes in, like a child who is asked about a bandaid & is then compelled to rehash the whole booboo experience! i am ridiculous, but still incredibly terrified & worried.
after more than a couple of hours of all this work up & test & “designer” gowns & an iv in my arm, we get results. cardiac…clear & healthy. pulmonary…lovely & normal. i’m fine (with the heart of a 16 year old…he he)…fine! other than an esophageal “explosion” (possibly caused by stress…me? stressed? that’s insane *insert sarcasm)
basically, folks, i had one hell of a case of heartburn! & yes it hurts like hell. i know, right?! slightly embarrassed by my dramatics, but validated by the doc, who did say that i took the right actions, women do not always show the same signs of heart attack as men, & from his own experience (of having a father who had a heart attack at 37) he totally understood my fear & concern. & just like my own pops, this condition is hereditary. (one more thing we have in common…i am my father’s daughter!)at the end of the day, i am so relieved. happy that i know why this happened, things i can do to prevent it, &/or how to (if/when it does happen again) take the steps to help it. isn’t getting older fun? kidding, but serious.
moral: listen to your bodies, people. even if it seems silly. cheers to healthy hearts. & yay for tackling this smoking thing now rather than later. (which a serious work in progress!)
plus, i got a free bracelet! but, you really don’t want this accessory…they put your age on it & everything!
ps...can't wait to see what my insurance "won't" pay for...got my brown paper bag, omeprazole, & baby aspirin ready!!
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