bucket list, anyone?...

so…within the last two weeks i have received devastating news regarding two deaths…both on tuesdays…both so shocking…both breaking my heart into pieces. the first, one of my cousins, who was killed under a most violent & tragic circumstance (24). the second, a dear friend & fellow classmate who exuded light, laughter, & love, gone suddenly (35…just celebrated a birthday). anyways, i have been kind of in a fog emotionally & mentally. i can never really make heads or tails of these situations.

then, there was a weirdness that the universe sent out the other day as i was straightening up around the house. under a stack of papers (monkey’s schoolwork, drawings, & the like), i came across a steno book buried at the bottom. i flipped through it to see if it could be of any use; enough empty pages or filled up, etc. as soon as i opened it, it fell open towards the back where a list stared back at me. apparently, i had started jotting notes down in this little spiral-bound notebook back in 2005 (perhaps when my insomnia first began) & i had completely forgotten about it. it’s filled with poems, a few pages of a short story i was writing at the time, guests/food/party supplies needed for monk’s first birthday, bill totals added up with a frowny face nearby…but this list is what intrigued me the most. it was a “things to do”…a bucket list, if you will. would you like to know what I had rattled off? (i’m going to share it, but you already guessed that, didn’t you?) p.s. **denotes the already haves or the ooh, so closes.

-run a 5k, 10k, marathon. **run? ha. i’ve walked a few smaller, similar type engagements.

-learn to climb.

-learn to ride a bike. **& check (seriously!)

-obtain a passport. **yep!

-go snorkeling.

-go white water rafting.

-read all of the classics. **i’ve made an earnest attempt…that is, relying on the definition of literary “classics.”

-attend a taping of ‘saturday night live.’

-go back to chicago. revisit the second city.

-travel to at least 2 other continents.

-vacation on a beautiful island. **st. lucia in 2010 & it was ah-mazingly gorgeous…so want to go back!

-visit every state in the u.s. **east coast i’ve got about covered & then a couple, but maybe only 18 out of 50 so far.

-audition for a play. improv? standup?

-make my way back to school for a specialized art course. **kind of doing that right now.

-learn how to cook for real & not from boxes. **all hail food network, foodie blogs, & my fascination with cookbooks, but still a work in progress!

-refine my french & learn a 3^rd language. **trying!

-join a sports team. **uh-huh, roller derby (best time of my life)

-go to a broadway show in new york. **i’ve been to ny & seen several “off broadway” productions, but not the combo just yet.

-write a children’s book.

-see the mona lisa, la pieta, the sistine chapel, john lennon’s grave, the gum wall in seattle, seven wonders…all in person.

-purchase a rosary in vatican city.

-stay in a castle in scotland.

-jump out of an airplane.

-go up in a hot air balloon.

-play the slots in vegas. **does atlantic city or harrah’s in cherokee count?

okay, i’ve hardly crossed them all off, but now that i am seeing it again, maybe i can. & add some stuff? is this a sign to stop jotting down to do’s & start living? i think so…i hope so. a most pleasant sign. thank you, universe, for reminding me that i still desire acting out these (maybe to some) silly, yet attainable dreams!

what would be on your list? you know what? go for it…every day is a chance to draw that line through or give it a big check! besides, i never want my epitaph to read that i didn’t at least try.