37...

after recently celebrating another birthday, i’ve figured out a few things for myself & i no longer think, but know the following (in no particular order):
 

i am good enough.

movies, tv shows, & even commercials may make me cry...i'm not just having a "woman" type breakdown!

if you've ever told me a secret, it's still here...safe.

after being kicked when i'm down, i have never thrown anyone under a bus.

blowing bubbles is fun.

moderation & i are on a first name basis...for the most part.

if i'm hot, i'm hot. if i'm chilly...don't tell me how i feel.

few people know who i am; all you have to do is pay attention.

home cooked meals are still the best.

mistakes are learning experiences & life has many learning curves.

it's never too late to be who you want to be.

daydreaming is not a crime.

girl scout cookies still rock my socks.

age is totally just a number.

i'm not a size 2 & that's okay...i love & understand my body so much more than i ever did when i was that tag number.

pink champagne just taste better!

mean girls & drama queens aren't trapped in teenage years...they exist far beyond (security in self is key).

i am happy...scratch that, i am elated when my friends do well, feel well; have their dreams come true.

there are times to work & times to play; my best work is when i can play.

choosing battles is very important.

i still don't think hunting is a "sport"...save that term for when the animals are packing rifles/bows & arrows in their tree stands.

you can't make somebody want their potential.

listening is super valuable.

laughter really is the best medicine.

small stuff is just that...unless you’re trying to quit smoking.

i only hope that i'm half as cool as my monkey thinks i am.

hangovers were a heck of a lot easier to get over many moons ago.

if you love someone, i mean truly...it never goes away.

hugs & support never get old.

my house will never be cleaner than someone saying "i'll be there in 20 minutes!"

i do my best thinking at the most in opportune times (but jot them down, just in case).

i always go with my gut; it just works for me.

i've learned that if i offend others with my stance on human equality or animal rights that it's only a reminder of the people that i probably don't want to associate with anyways.

badges...

when i was little, i was a girl scout. yes, you read that correctly. a brownie & then a junior scout. i went to meetings, retreats, camp (gawd, how i hated camp!)...sold cookies. but my most favorite part about this group, that miss juliette low started so many years ago, had to be the badges!

after the allure of visiting the ginormous tapp’s department store downtown to don new threads of brown from head to toe (& later faded green) wore off, there was one key uniform signature that taunted me like an old pillowcase that vied for halloween candy...the sash!

oh, how i wanted so badly to fill that sucker up with badges galore of home economics types & outdoorsy things & doing community works; sewn on by my mother, of course. it would be full of my accomplishments & i intended to wear it everywhere. folks would ask me about my beautiful accessory to which i would sigh & say "this old thing?" (because i had heard that in a movie once, & it seemed like a breezy & sophisticated thing to say!)

what would burst my big dreams (trapped in a tiny person) would be the underlying theme of said badges...um, "merit" badges. as in, i had to earn them. seek out the opportunity, write about it in my badges notebook, have it checked off by my scout leader; earn them. but, some were going to look really good on that sash & i'd already figured out the perfect skirts & leg warmers to match them. enter 7 year old heartache. my plan was to knock out the simpler ones first & work up to the more coveted circles of glory! which worked out at first, then it was on to plan b...screw the easy ones (who wants what everyone else has). but it was hard work. i tried to pretend that i deserved the upper crust, only to realize that in fact, all i really knew was how to sew a button, be nice to my neighbor, & adore animals & nature. it seemed (at the time) that the little things were getting me nowhere & that sash was only filled partially on one side...what the...?! no one would acknowledge that!

fast forward three decades later & i'm still working towards badges, but i'm not sewing them on sashes these days. actually, i rarely speak of earned things unless asked (which is few & far between) or i feel comfortable enough in sharing with someone who is truly interested in my day to day happenings. people actually seem taken back when subjects come up & i'm all, yea, i've done that. i'm not trying to stretch truths...i've really experienced several different life situations & have achieved stuff. maybe not on the grandest of schemes; didn't make me a bazillionaire, but sure...been there, done that, diy-ed the tee shirt (okay, not really). i've gotten the ole "what can't you do?" in sarcastic blows. is it so hard to believe...that i've managed more than one challenge; sometimes simultaneously? (it's kind of in my veins, i guess) i laugh because it doesn't matter one way or the other...i don't go for new & unchartered territories for glory...or share kindness or love or what-have-yous so that a scout leader announces it to the rest of the troop once a week anyway. (although a little good faith & encouragement never hurt anyone)

i certainly won't wear a badge that i haven't sought out & attained to the fullest. i'm only kidding myself when i claim kudos & accolades for half-assed projects, right?! i don't usually wake up in the morning thinking i want to be a blank & by the end of the day, poof, i'm an expert. (ps...i'm never an expert, but i do like to swap information) i really don't like to boost myself publicly at all; feels weird.

in reality, my sash is clean & pressed for only one circular symbol. it's a student of the universe badge that i will proudly own; embroidered with balance beams, yins & yangs, ashes & phoenixes! there's a monkey on it & some figures in the background holding hands...hubs & me? i'm always trying to better this soul & educate this mind. risks are scary, but necessary. change & evolution are like that new language that i'm constantly trying to learn. (there are some books on cds at the library, probably) i've got the perfect skirts & leg warmers to match, of course.

secretly, i still yearn for all those nifty badges of haute couture, travel, & world domination. for now, i'm content with the knowledge that most can still be earned & utilized. & i won't even have to call my momma to sew them on for me!

thank you, mary...

so, as many of you know (or are about to find out), i'm currently enrolled in cosmetology  school & have been since last april. i've had quite a ride that will come to an end in november. other than the normal bookwork, testing, & time on the clinic floor playing with guests hair, nails, & faces, i've also had extracurriculars; including but not limited to plays, photo shoots, & fashion shows. i adore doing hair & makeup & look forward to starting my career.

among the  many opportunities, i was presented with one of my most favorite to date late last spring. it was a wig competition & the wigs were going to be donated to the south carolina oncology associates here in town. i was immediately intrigued. 

wait, i'd never even made a wig. could i make a wig? i sure wanted to try. for cancer patients? why, yes...i could help someone to forget for a brief moment in time about any hair loss from an illness & feel some sort of normalcy. & selfishly, i did it a little for myself...to test my comfort zone & to maybe learn & grow for the sake of my craft.

i would complete my mission of making a wig, compete in said contest, & win 2nd place. but this blog isn't about my victory of placing; i'd already reached that goal just by putting myself out there & creating something that i was truly proud of. no, this is way bigger than me.

a couple of weeks after the competition, we were notified that one of the local news crews would be visiting the school to interview the contestants about their process & inspiration for our wig designs. (mine was simply that i know & have known cancer fighters & survivors & that awareness is key, especially among my own age group.) a few weeks after that, they'd come back...this time with a cancer survivor & recipient of the very first wig. unfortunately, i was unable to come to school early due to last minute notice. i would soon find out that my wig was chosen! i was bummed that i wasn't there, but felt so honored & excited & knew that the other two winners were taking excellent care of her & the styling.

she introduced herself as mary haddon when she called to thank me that afternoon & i apologized that i was unable to meet her at the school. she called me...to personally thank me for entering this competition & giving her the convenience of long hair again! she said it'd been some time & she couldn't wait to show her daughter, who often pulled out old pictures that reminded her of her once flowing locks. you know how you can tell when someone is smiling over the phone? i did that for her. i was a blubbering mess all night because my heart was so full!

fast forward to tonight. as i'm getting in from school, shoving my face with leftover pizza, talking to the hubs, & reading emails, facebook, etc., i'm shocked to see that dear mary haddon had passed this evening. i immediately cry...& i can't even believe what i've read. & i mean sobbing...for a woman i've never met, but felt so connected to. i text a very close friend, who i suspect might still be up & know will have the right words to console my bewilderment...& she does. the hubs confirms the sentiment.

but, i'm a little teary-eyed still & a lot heartbroken for her family. i'm not sure why our paths crossed, but i'm thankful for it. 

life is so freaking short. & i have so many questions, but for now, i just have to continue to strive to do my little part in this big world. & here come the waterworks again...

thank you, mary, for everything!

back to school...

as the first week of school begins to marinate, i start to reminisce on summer (from a week ago), & how i was this “good guy,” the cool mom who allowed morning time ample room for ‘cartoon network’ & zelda…even a little minecrafting. all hail “me!” no particular schedules of waking up or going to bed or getting dressed…unless a spectacular occasion called for it. the only thing i would get were the occasional ‘mehs’ of few & far between…when the afternoons finally called for a “let’s go to grammy’s” because of my night classes. but overall, i was awesome!

now, let me fill you in on the non-summer routine…what is to surely come of my coolness points & momma street cred with the monkey. if memory serves me, it goes something like this…

miraculously, i awake to alarm clocks that no one else hears. i wish snooze was in my vocabulary, but most days it's not. i shuffle through the house like a disoriented zombie. the cat tries to kill me by zipping through my legs, because apparently we're racing? i spot the dog, who doesn't want to get up either, & pretends to not have made eye contact. i walk back to monkey's room & in my best june cleaver voice, announce "time to get up!"  i lay clothes out. i say " come on, sweet boy, time to get up"  i make breakfast. i repeat, " time to get up!" i make sure the lunch box has everything needed. i double check homework &/or pack book bags. i say "get dressed...go ahead & eat." i walk back to the bedroom to remind the hubs, "time to get up." i ready toothbrushes with toothpaste. i set shoes, jackets, whatevers out. i ask nicely at least 7-8 times (well, you know)...but no one notices. yet again, " c'mon, get dressed...go ahead & eat." maybe a little bit more stern this time. they notice. “where is your library book?” i ask questions & start conversations that aren't meant to frustrate, but seemingly upset sleepy ones. i attempt to read minds. i realize that i can't read minds. i still can’t find that library book. i change back to mary poppins, but to no avail. i remind  again, "time to go!" i disturb the otherwise happy, nothing to do today moods of the household. but there is stuff to do...it's a weekday of learning...& i found the library book, hooray! i become the enemy. i make husbands grumble & monkeys wrinkle their noses in detest!  i'm a tyrant, a monster, the mother. i plant smooches, wish a super fun awesome happy day & wave fanatically at the door like a big doofus trying to save face! all before i’ve had my coffee!!

eureka! i know what i’ll do different this year…drink my coffee first!

"children"...

one of the many housewarming gifts that i received when the hubs & i purchased our first home was a cute little sign from my sister that read "this place is a zoo."  it was quite the double entrende as hubs' job at the time was primary penguin keeper at the local zoo & also, that our love for animals, far exceeded that of the criminally insane.
but the meaning was appropriate, nonetheless, & still hangs in our house.


to have met someone, who fancied a multitude of beasts, & of all blood temps, was beyond my wildest dreams (yes, i said fancied). & at one time, the then not hubs yet & i had plenty of the food budget split accordingly. there was us (naturally), about 12 reptiles (i think 2-3 were not venomous...eep), a very scary australian trap door spider, 5 bengal kitties we were housing (we ended up with the only female, rita), a domestic shorthair found in a dumpster (or, miss sybil...my faithful tv companion & trip artist to this day). we babysat a tiger once & holy, nightmare...that thing would stalk me when people left the room, but hey, he was cute...ha! & oh my goodness, the two pygmy marmosets that we fostered until our friend set up habitat for them; let's just say, child rearing crash course for the future!


during our courtship/living in sin/i do's, the hubs & i have lovingly housed a ferret, turtles, salt water fishes, a chocolate & white (i know, right) skunk, poison arrow frogs, various reptiles, & have made shelter for numerous, i mean nu-mer-ous, parrots until their forever homes were found.


at the time of said housewarming, our new abode only consisted of a few family members; delia the border collie, sybil & rita, & paco, the quaker parrot. only sybil remains of the original lineup. the monkey loved & lost the other three along with hubs & me. it sucks to lose a pet...always. but, then to experience it with your child? heart wrenching!


sooo...we got the sybil girl & little beagle brother, scout. (who drive each other crazy) & we've added tarantula #1 (spiderus, r.i.p) & tarantula #2 (blue), 6 chickens (or, the girls), a corn snake, 2 red eyed tree frogs, & a fiesty bearded dragon (lula) to our little "zoo." i speak of goats & rabbits often, but get denied (they act like i'm not the one who'll take care of these new additions).


in the meantime, i break for squirrels (even though they steal my tomatoes & peppers in the garden), am in awe of all creatures big & small, love watching birds; even tolerate crazy bugs for the sake of monkey...except for our state (sc) bird, the mosquito...viscous little bloodsuckers...ouch!

i love my animals (yes, even monkey's tarantula), like...love them. maybe it's the momma in me; i've always had an affinity for critters & the need to not only yield to, but nurture them. we share that, the hubs & i...i own that…it's “our” thing.

hiatus...

n. pl. hi·a·tus·es or hiatus
1. a gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break.

so, that's where i've been...somewhere between the mental & literal state. i never meant to be gone so long. it was no vacation, trust me.

i was busy or stifled or lazy or overwhelmed...sometimes underwhelmed or just keeping the all too private journal (i can't not write at all.) i didn't think i had it in me, but the thoughts were there. the anecdotes. the euphemisms. the humor at life. the sadness & distraught of it all. so, i climbed in my tortoise shell & hid like a coward. i was afraid that i'd lost my public display of wordage...the ones that were socially acceptable to speak out.loud. when have i ever been afraid of that? i got words, folks.

& maybe they aren't always the right words. i say things that don't make sense. i make cultural references (okay, of the pop variety) that get question mark faces. & sometimes, i even speak of things that most would shun me of because they're thought of, just not spoken; but they're mine...those words. i take ownership.

i've never set out to hurt another person intentionally. ever. not even a cruel joke at someone else's expense. i am funny...yes. not cruel. (or, i think i'm funny...it varies on the crowd. or maybe it's just me) if it's ever heard or read that way...then, whoops!

anyhoo, my life can't revolve around what i shouldn't have said when i've trained myself to be real. it's hard to be guarded 24/7 scared that a few may not understand me or know of my utterly un-malicious intent.

time to move on with the light & breezy once more. break's over...time to get to work!

background check...

you know how when you're little, you could care less about family heritage, background, which grandpa came from wherever? the stories are cool at first, but then the mind wanders, eyes glaze over, etc. (at least, i remember not really being too terribly stoked on researching it on my own; i see the eyes roll on my own child at my personal excitement.) anyhoo, now is the time that i'm super interested. where do i come from?

i know that there is native american for sure, slavic descendants (discovered at ellis island on a NY trip), & scottish. i have always been intrigued by the mere thought of being the recipient of so many walks of life, culture, language...it's pretty amazing. & any chance i have to experience said culture; well, i'm there! especially, the scottish  aspect, partly because the more i look the more confused i seem to get. & while i may not be absolutely sure of my clan, i have my own trio to help out.

enter tartan day south here in SC yesterday & my humongous grin over the whole event. i think the monkey was scared that i would stick him in a "skirt," but i didn't (yet). i had intentions of wearing my own plaid, but upon last minute length check, decided that my skirt was a bit more catholic school girl...ha; & opted for a green summer dress instead.

the weather (spring finally?) was perfect. flags were flapping in the breeze, people were everywhere; my people! i spoke with several nice folks who were sad that we didn't share a surname, but was reassured that half of the clans weren't even represented. perhaps a trip to grandfather mountain in the summer will unlock some mysteries for me. in the meantime, i will plug away at the ole interwebs! 
(sights & sounds)

bagpipes! reminded me of my wedding :)

sheep herding, anyone?

strong men in kilts tossing logs!

sword fighting.

CHEERS!!

i discovered...

a tombstone with monkey’s middle & last name on it...weirdness.

yet another phone app to become shamelessly addicted to...vine.

chocolate really does make me feel better. ooh, & cheese...but, not at the same time!

i stay up incredibly too late.

i have more faith in others than they do in me...& that's okay!


not sure who snores louder...the hubs or the hound.


everything squeaks in this house!


i have managed to cry a bazillion times over the course of the last month…i believe i’m good for awhile (hopefully).


that this really does work. 325* for 25-30 min for "boiled eggs." (cool in cold water for 10 minutes.)

the best new recipes lately, from sweet to savory…excitement!

i’m super ready for warmer weather.

maybe i secretly want to be a burlesque dancer...eh?

soap tv airs old episodes of ‘beverly hills, 90210’…yes!

i squeal every time i see itty bitty baby animals. 

this hilarious easter picture of monkey from 2006. (how scary is this bunny rabbit?)

shushing up the poor mouth...

this time of year is always a little wonky…financially…for everybody. & unless you’re a bazillionaire or just hit the lotto, the couple of months after the holidays, amidst tax returns (if any), & planning summer vacations can make folks crazy (okay, maybe just me on the vacay part); seems like quite a stretch until that happy bank account appears again. soup & pb&j days, perhaps? (especially with the economy so stupidly unpredictable.) you know, it really doesn’t have to be though. yep, i said it, i believe it! it’s actually pretty simple to save here & there when you plan for it. don’t think of it as being cheap or doing without the “finer” things. think of it as a lifestyle that betters your environment & your pockets; leaving some nice leverage to splurge when you want to! **disclaimer: i am not a money or economic or statistics expert…i repeat, no expert! these are just a few things that i have personally explored or found to be beneficial to our family’s income, livelihood, & sleeping a little better at night-lihood!

1. it's okay to coupon. for reals. you don’t have to stock pile or buy 20 tubes of toothpaste in one swoop, but you’d be surprised how a few trips to the grocery following a list with clippings in hand, each trip, will add up. & who cares about the person rolling their eyes behind you in line when you present your magic money to the clerk. i’ve had this happen before, & when the cashier told me that i’d saved over 40 bucks off of my total (with in-store savings & coupons), i heard a “holy crap!” from the lady behind me…ha! *other times have left me speechless having spent 50 smackers on over $120 shopping spree…all things that were needed & regularly bought!
2. 2nd hand is always new in my closet. be it thrifted or consigned or found at a girlfriend closet swap, there is always something fun waiting to be discovered (& recycled). not to mention, it’s incredible what a box of rit dye can do to refresh an oldie but a goodie. *need ideas or tips on how to get the most bang for your buck (…literally!), then check out refashionista.net!
3. cool on the cheap. there are a million & one free things to do around your area if you are looking. picnics in the park, visiting local playgrounds, scavenger hunts around the city…plus, most museums have a free day at least once a month. & there is almost always a festival of sorts going on. you’ll be amazed at what activities are out there.
4. invest in things that make a difference in the long run. from the simplest reusable water bottle to changing your air conditioner filter every month to slowly replacing all of the household light bulbs to the ecofriendly variety. even using cold water to wash a load of clothes or turning the water off when you brush your teeth; i swear this saves energy & money around the homestead…you will see a difference after awhile.
5. just because it's on sale doesn't make it a bargain. are you guilty of having tagged items hanging in your closet because you’ve never worn them, but it was 75% off? i am. i used to be notorious for this or only wore it once! what the heck? ah, yes…sales. but did you fall in love with it, had to have it because it filled an ensemble void in your life? if not, let it be. it’s not saving shitake at the end of the day if it’s hanging around not being worn slap out. just…let it be!
6. kid's nights. a ton of restaurants offer a kid’s eat free (or at a discount) night with the purchase of an adult entrée. i love this for the simple fact that my child has healthy options besides fast food if i’m away & the hubs is in charge of dinner. (& it’s cheaper)
7. these aren't your momma's leftovers. i have spent countless eons (seems like) trying to predict how much of one single meal will get eaten up entirely because my boys really don’t do the  whole leftover thing. it’s a pain. but, i have discovered the lovely sandra lee on food network (plus, her book) to save me from total food waste. one meal into 2 with a little planning & creativity. her recipes are feasible, economical, & 2^nd day transformational! you’re gonna love her…& she caters to all food lifestyles, little ones, etc.
8. free literature! i don’t want to even think about all the years, pre-monkey, that i went without a library card…*cringe! no holdup necessary…um, free. it’s an all-access to travel, food, adventures, drama, chaos…endless possibilities, people! i’m a huge lover of tv, the interwebs, & “hellooo” book store-a-ramas; however, the library makes me so happy. & my monkey lights up at the thought of even visiting it (seriously!). books, magazines (which cost a bazill anymore), audio books (a la no time for hitting the big ole paper weights, but plenty of time in the car), free downloads for you kindle, nook, etc, movie checkouts; even internet access, if you’re without at home. it really is a shame to not take advantage!
9. DIY or barter. costs can be cut when you dissect a project & figure out that you can do-it-yourself! really, you can. & the accomplishment is very rewarding. but, if you feel that you can’t reach the desiredness of a certain feat, i bet you know someone who can. do you knit, but hate to paint…know a painter who needs a scarf? (see where i’m going with this?)

in a nutshell, treat yourself! you work hard, don't feel like you can't enjoy it! but, seek out the resources that are available (& awesome & remorseless) so that you aren’t overwhelmed when the unexpected dollar amounts tend to knock you upside the noggin...you know, when you’re least expecting it. 

bucket list, anyone?...

so…within the last two weeks i have received devastating news regarding two deaths…both on tuesdays…both so shocking…both breaking my heart into pieces. the first, one of my cousins, who was killed under a most violent & tragic circumstance (24). the second, a dear friend & fellow classmate who exuded light, laughter, & love, gone suddenly (35…just celebrated a birthday). anyways, i have been kind of in a fog emotionally & mentally. i can never really make heads or tails of these situations.

then, there was a weirdness that the universe sent out the other day as i was straightening up around the house. under a stack of papers (monkey’s schoolwork, drawings, & the like), i came across a steno book buried at the bottom. i flipped through it to see if it could be of any use; enough empty pages or filled up, etc. as soon as i opened it, it fell open towards the back where a list stared back at me. apparently, i had started jotting notes down in this little spiral-bound notebook back in 2005 (perhaps when my insomnia first began) & i had completely forgotten about it. it’s filled with poems, a few pages of a short story i was writing at the time, guests/food/party supplies needed for monk’s first birthday, bill totals added up with a frowny face nearby…but this list is what intrigued me the most. it was a “things to do”…a bucket list, if you will. would you like to know what I had rattled off? (i’m going to share it, but you already guessed that, didn’t you?) p.s. **denotes the already haves or the ooh, so closes.

-run a 5k, 10k, marathon. **run? ha. i’ve walked a few smaller, similar type engagements.

-learn to climb.

-learn to ride a bike. **& check (seriously!)

-obtain a passport. **yep!

-go snorkeling.

-go white water rafting.

-read all of the classics. **i’ve made an earnest attempt…that is, relying on the definition of literary “classics.”

-attend a taping of ‘saturday night live.’

-go back to chicago. revisit the second city.

-travel to at least 2 other continents.

-vacation on a beautiful island. **st. lucia in 2010 & it was ah-mazingly gorgeous…so want to go back!

-visit every state in the u.s. **east coast i’ve got about covered & then a couple, but maybe only 18 out of 50 so far.

-audition for a play. improv? standup?

-make my way back to school for a specialized art course. **kind of doing that right now.

-learn how to cook for real & not from boxes. **all hail food network, foodie blogs, & my fascination with cookbooks, but still a work in progress!

-refine my french & learn a 3^rd language. **trying!

-join a sports team. **uh-huh, roller derby (best time of my life)

-go to a broadway show in new york. **i’ve been to ny & seen several “off broadway” productions, but not the combo just yet.

-write a children’s book.

-see the mona lisa, la pieta, the sistine chapel, john lennon’s grave, the gum wall in seattle, seven wonders…all in person.

-purchase a rosary in vatican city.

-stay in a castle in scotland.

-jump out of an airplane.

-go up in a hot air balloon.

-play the slots in vegas. **does atlantic city or harrah’s in cherokee count?

okay, i’ve hardly crossed them all off, but now that i am seeing it again, maybe i can. & add some stuff? is this a sign to stop jotting down to do’s & start living? i think so…i hope so. a most pleasant sign. thank you, universe, for reminding me that i still desire acting out these (maybe to some) silly, yet attainable dreams!

what would be on your list? you know what? go for it…every day is a chance to draw that line through or give it a big check! besides, i never want my epitaph to read that i didn’t at least try.

rules for travel...

you can learn an awful lot about folks when you go out of town with them. sure, you may spend time with them on the regular (in a casual way), but when you actually leave your comfort zone & venture out into the unknown world of personalities…woah. here are some simple truths & rules to help prepare you mentally…

-have a plan prior to departure; as in, everyone on the same page.

-if someone else is waiting on you, notify them in advance that you’re running 3 hours behind estimated pick up time. 

-just because you have crossed your i’s & dotted your t’s, does not mean others have. expect hiccups.

-accepting a last minute guest can be tricky. stick to the original lineup, if possible.

-take some sort of snacks or sustenance for yourself. never know when you will have to fast for 24 hours.

-have more than 1 or 2 things in common with fellow travelers.

-do not discuss any intelligent or mature topics…actually, just keep your mouth shut. not everyone has an open mind.

-not everyone will get your sense of humor. some folks are too damn serious & some are too damn sensitive.

-always remember that it only takes one negative nellie or complainer to derail the whole group.

-be mindful that “it’s not all about you” when others are involved.

-don’t count on too much; even though having fun shouldn’t be too much to ask.

-everyone has an opinion or a good idea; use common sense to decide what will suit the whole.

-don’t feel bad to deviate from the herd to do what you want to do…every man for himself, right?

-don’t wait for later, in a little bit, wanna do this, let’s go here, or tomorrow. if you want it, get it or do it…now.

-actions definitely speak louder than words.

-don’t “volunteer” to do something only to bitch about it…repeatedly.

-don’t be a broken freaking record.

-don’t attempt to bond with those you don’t know or expect to make memories with those that you do.

-just because you’re the loudest voice doesn’t make you the leader, the voice of reason, or the most accurate.

-communication is key!

-be respectful of other people’s personal space.

-be responsible for your own comfort, insecurities, etc.

-things are going to go awry. & sometimes it’s over & over & over…pretty much until you get back home.

-if some things are out of your control, there’s really no need to bring everyone else down.

-enthusiasm & excitement can always be blindsided.

-your own bed will never feel better to you than after a miserable trip.

-keep in mind that after every bad experience, your appreciation for your lovely life will be exemplified! 

hope this helped someone out there! just choose wisely & buckle up for a potential hellacious ride. back to being positive; having learned more about myself & the situations i wish to involve myself with in the future. i wash my hands of it now & will not wallow in it any longer. life goes on. (my beautiful, cozy, loving life) good luck & happy trails!

movie marathon checklist...

with my recent infatuation with lists & ongoing love of romantic movies, i decided to compile my all-time favorites in honor of the holiday that folks either heart or hate. & whether you refer to it as valentine’s or singles day, these movies are bound to make you smile, laugh, cry…or preferably all of the above. mental & emotional cleansing is good for the soul, people. keep in mind, my idea of oober romantic isn’t always the most conventional, so if you find yourself saying “wha?” it’s cool. now, grab some kleenex (just in case) & enjoy!

1. ‘can’t buy me love’ (1987) patrick dempsey, amanda peterson. a “nerd” gets a makeover by the girl of his dreams. best line: “nerds, jocks. my side, your side. it’s all bullshit. it’s hard enough just trying to be yourself.”

2. ‘an affair to remember’ (1957) cary grant, deborah kerr. where will you be in 6 months? best line: “i was looking up…it was the nearest thing to heaven! you were there.”

3. ‘casablanca’ (1942) humphrey bogart, ingrid bergman. one man is torn between “love & virtue.” best line: “of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

4. ‘romeo & juliet’ (1996) leonardo dicaprio, claire danes. “star-crossed lovers.” best line: “did my heart love 'til now? forswear its sight. for i never saw true beauty 'til this night.”

5. ‘breakfast at tiffany’s’ (1961) audrey hepburn, george preppard. a free spirit struggles to surrender to true love. best line: “i'm like cat here, a no-name slob. we belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us. we don't even belong to each other.”

6. ‘the notebook’ (2004) james garner, gena rowlands, ryan gosling, rachel mcadams. two lovers are separated by the differences of their social class. best line: “well that's what we do, we fight... you tell me when i am being an arrogant son of a bitch and i tell you when you are a pain in the ass. which you are, 99% of the time. i'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. you have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.”

7. ‘titanic’ (1997) leonardo dicaprio, kate winslet. an unsinkable love affair. best line: “rose, you're no picnic, all right? you're a spoiled little brat, even, but under that, you're the most amazingly, astounding, wonderful girl, woman that i've ever known...”

8. ‘dracula’ (1992) gary oldman, winona ryder. love never dies. best line: “ i have crossed oceans of time to find you.”

9. ‘a lot like love’ (2005) ashton kutcher, amanda peet. fate keeps crossing their paths…meant to be? best line: “well, if it wasn't love, it was a lot like it.”

10. ‘edward scissorhands’ (1990) johnny depp, winona ryder. welcomed into suburbia, an “uncommonly gentle” man falls in love with a teenage girl. best line: “before he came down here, it never snowed. and afterwards, it did. if he weren't up there now...i don't think it would be snowing. sometimes you can still catch me dancing in it.”

11. ‘valley girl’ (1983) nicholas cage, deborah foreman. opposites attract, like, for sure! best line: “man, he’s like tripendicular, ya kow?”

12. ‘overboard’ (1987) goldie hawn, kurt russell. sometimes love is tricky. best line: “it’s a helluva day at sea, sir!”

13. ‘the girl next door’ (2004) emile hirsch, elisha cuthbert.  a former porn star moves in next door to an overachieving high school senior. best line: “because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze.”

14. ‘dirty dancing’ (1987) patrick swayze, jennifer grey. when baby meets johnny. best line: “most of all i'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way i feel when i'm with you.”

15. ‘the way we were’ (1973) barbra streisand, robert redford. political views & values weigh heavy in a wonderful romance. best line: “your girl is lovely, hubbell.”

16. ‘brokeback mountain’ (2005) heath ledger, jake gyllenhaal. modern day romeo & juliet. best line: “i wish i knew how to quit you.”

17. ‘romancing the stone’ (1984) michael douglas, kathleen turner. a romance writer stumbles into a dangerous adventure. best line: “what did you do, wake up this morning and say, ‘today, i'm going to ruin a man's life’?”

18. ‘the holiday’ (2006) cameron diaz, kate winslet, jude law, jack black. house swappers find true happiness. best line: “legend has it, when the santa anas blow, anything can happen.”

19. ‘empire records’ (1995)  johnny whitworth, liv tyler. waiting for the perfect moment to profess his love. best line: “damn the man!”

20. ‘working girl’ (1988) melanie griffith, harrison ford. she pretends, he falls for her. she gets busted, he’s still all in. best line: “i have a head for business & a bod for sin.”

21. ‘the fifth element’ (1997) bruce willis, milla jovovich. good vs evil. best line: “i don't know love. i was built to protect not to love, so there is no use for me other than this.”

22. ‘somewhere in time’ (1980) christopher reeve, jane seymour. falling for a picture on a wall…a little self-hypnosis…time travel. best line: “come back to me.”

23. ‘milk money’ (1994) ed harris, melanie griffith. a little boy wants to find his dad a wife. best line: “there is a place you can touch on a woman that will make her go crazy”…”where?”…”her heart.”

24. ‘chasing amy’ (1997) ben affleck, joey lauren adams. sexual orientation & attraction & love & pasts equal tension & confusion. best line: “this is all gonna end badly.”

25. ‘annie hall’ (1977) woody allen, diane keaton. “a nervous romance” best line: “that sex was the most fun i’ve ever had without laughing.”

26. ‘legend’ (1985) tom cruise, mia sara, tim curry. a fantastical tale where light challenges dark. best line: “love you say? well, love is another matter.”

27. ‘kissing jessica stein’ (2001) jennifer westfeldt, heather juergensen. looking for the perfect man leads to finding the perfect woman. best line: “i took out an ad for christ's sake. and i ended up with the jewish sandra dee.”

28. ‘bridget jones’s diary’ (2001) renee zellweger, colin firth, hugh grant. self exploration & improvement through keeping a diary. best line: “i choose vodka & chaka khan.”

29. ‘natural born killers’ (1994) woody harrelson, juliette lewis. mickey & mallory are crazy about each…& just plain crazy! best line: “you make every day feel like kindergarten.”

30. ‘benny & joon’ (1993) johnny depp, mary stuart masterson. there’s someone for everyone. best line: “you know, it seems to me that, i mean, except for being a little mentally ill, she's pretty normal.”

31. ‘dream a little dream’ (1989) corey feldman, jason robards, meredith salenger. accidental body swapping & dreams vs reality. best line: “thank you for a frightening, confusing, strange and dangerous time. what more could a girl ask for?”

32. ‘coming to america’ (1988) eddie murphy, shari headley. a prince goes undercover in hopes of meeting his soulmate. best line: “girl, you look so good, someone ought to put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.”

33. ‘cruel intentions’ (1999) sarah michelle geller, ryan phillipe, reese witherspoon. a womanizer finally lets real feelings & love in. best line: “it’s okay, you can laugh. i promise i won’t tell anyone.”

34. ‘some kind of wonderful’ (1987) eric stoltz, mary stuart masterson, lea thompson. love might just be right in front of you the whole time. best line: “don’t go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs.”

35. ‘wedding singer’ (1998) adam sandler, drew barrymore. you don’t have to settle…for companionship. best line: “well, i have a microphone, and you don't, SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!”

36. ‘sex & the city’ (2008) sarah jessica parker, kim cattrall, kristin davis, cynthia nixon. whether there’s a mr. big or not, best friends are there ‘til death do you part. best line: “just calling to make sure you aren’t hanging from your shower rod.”

37. ‘how to marry a millionaire’ (1953) marilyn monroe, betty grable, lauren bacall. set on finding fortune results in finding love. best line: “wealthy men are never old.”

38. ‘the princess bride’ (1987) cary elwes, robin wright. a grandfather reads a romantic & adventurous fairy tale to his grandson. best line: “hello. my name is inigo montoya. you killed my father. prepare to die.”

39. ‘stealing home’ (1988) mark harmon, jodie foster. a man must finally let go of his first true love, his babysitter. best line: “i love you, billy boy!”

40. ‘say anything’ (1989) john cusack, ione skye. he holds up a boom box outside her window, for goodness sakes! best line: “she’s gone, she gave me a pen. i gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.”

*these are in no way in any particular order, & there are only a bazillion more out there. These are just truly some of the best; per moi. did you agree with any of them? you’re already on Netflix, aren’t you? 

"if the shoe fits"...

…”wear it,” right?! okay, but what if they are less than desirable? enter the most rad do it yourself project (i think); super easy & too cute not to share!

a few weeks back, i was watching a disney channel program with monkey & happened to notice one of the little actresses with a really cool pair of hi-top sneakers on. they were very colorful & appeared to have some sort of comic strippy type design. hmm…i could fashion something like that with a pair of old flats. i hit the ole google to see if there were any other crafters out there with the same thought. of course, there was! awesome! (because i really needed a clue in to a good & effective sealer for said project)

materials:

a pair of misfit flats or heels begging for love

comic books

awesome scissors

mod podge (washable or disposable plate/dish for glue. i used a moe’s kid’s cup top…i only had a million of them)

sponge brushes

nail file/buffer

clear acrylic spray sealant

patience!

if you don’t own any comic books or refuse to go at your personal stash with scissors, then you’ll need to visit your local comic book store (best place ever!) other than offering a huge array (if you’re looking for a specific character), most stores will have a pretty decent selection of comics costing next to nothing. this is where i headed…2 books, 2 dollars…sold. if some of you are wondering if i picked up an extra ‘wonder woman’ or two…i did, but not to cut. it just kinda felt sacrilege to me…ha!

so you have your shoes to makeover & comics picked out? it’s time to get creative. make sure your surface area (shoe) is free & clear of any dust, dirt, etc. flip through your comics & tear out pages that “speak” to you. for instance, i chose a color & a black & white to work with. i went through the black & white comic & cut out pictures here & there to set as my basic all over backdrop for the shoe. there’s absolutely no rhyme or reason; the thing that i love most about this upcycle. it doesn’t have to be precise…at all. everything will need to be cut into smaller strips, triangles, squares, etc. anyway. so if you find any words that you like: pow, bam, wobash!, set those to the side for now.

starting around the edges of the shoes, take your brush dipped in mod podge & glue on your pieces; working your way in, saving the seams & toes for last. they tend to be a little trickier. also, when working around twists & turns, you may find cutting smaller pieces works best. it’s like putting together a puzzle. once both shoes are covered, let them air dry for about 24 hours. if you’ve missed a spot or two, it’s quite alright. you can go back & cover them later.

next, i took out my color comic book & looked for fun words & pictures to glue onto the existing black & white. but, no rules! you may have other artsy ideas for your new walkabouts. (p.s. it’s time to grab those words or whatevers that you set aside) when my pieces were set to my liking & a few slivers were filled in, i went over both shoes again with mod podge; for an all-over finish.

hang on, we're almost done!

again, let them air dry. 24 hours, or to the point where they are not tacky to the touch. take your nail file/buffer to gently wipe away any glue buildup or rough areas. this will also add a nice shine to the overall appearance, & lead to the final step…the sealant! (yes, more waiting, but worth it!)

i thought that they came out great & i can’t wait to wear them! with any project, i usually start searching for other things to create, add to, or cover up. it’s fun…& it keeps me out of trouble.