hiatus...

n. pl. hi·a·tus·es or hiatus
1. a gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break.

so, that's where i've been...somewhere between the mental & literal state. i never meant to be gone so long. it was no vacation, trust me.

i was busy or stifled or lazy or overwhelmed...sometimes underwhelmed or just keeping the all too private journal (i can't not write at all.) i didn't think i had it in me, but the thoughts were there. the anecdotes. the euphemisms. the humor at life. the sadness & distraught of it all. so, i climbed in my tortoise shell & hid like a coward. i was afraid that i'd lost my public display of wordage...the ones that were socially acceptable to speak out.loud. when have i ever been afraid of that? i got words, folks.

& maybe they aren't always the right words. i say things that don't make sense. i make cultural references (okay, of the pop variety) that get question mark faces. & sometimes, i even speak of things that most would shun me of because they're thought of, just not spoken; but they're mine...those words. i take ownership.

i've never set out to hurt another person intentionally. ever. not even a cruel joke at someone else's expense. i am funny...yes. not cruel. (or, i think i'm funny...it varies on the crowd. or maybe it's just me) if it's ever heard or read that way...then, whoops!

anyhoo, my life can't revolve around what i shouldn't have said when i've trained myself to be real. it's hard to be guarded 24/7 scared that a few may not understand me or know of my utterly un-malicious intent.

time to move on with the light & breezy once more. break's over...time to get to work!