20 questions...

so, anyone who has ever been around a child knows that as soon as they are able to talk, they do. a lot. a whole lot! monkey, for instance, starts chatting away from the moment he rolls out of his bed in the wee hours of morning until the last possible second at nighttime..."i need to tell you one more thing..."

so many questions, statements; hilarious, straight forward, sweet, awkward. "what is...how do you spell...can we...look at this...watch...did you know…are you watching this...oh, this girl told me she loved me today" on & on & on...seriously. most of the time the answers to this quiz master of mine fall fluid from my mouth without hesitation. sometimes they take some creativity. & other times, i am just a deer in freaking headlights at some of the shiz that my ears are hearing.

today's conversation was especially fun & unexpected (insert sarcasm & a bit of a blush here). it went something like this...

(scene: cold december day. entering the grocery. usually distracted by his  3ds, a more alert boy emerges.)

monkey: can we get curly fries?
me: sure. hold up, let me zip down this aisle real quick.
monkey: ooh, what’s this aisle? fem-i-nine hy...hydra? oh cool, there's a pokemon that evolves into a hydra!
me: really? ok, sh-shh
monkey: (very audible) why are you shushing me? whats in that box?
me: i'm not shushing...um, something i need.
monkey: whoa, there's like 20 of 'em in there! what are those? sticks or something? are you getting that yellow one? who are those for?
me: oh, nothing. they're for mommy. girl stuff.
monkey: can boys play with those?
me: they're not toys, baby. it's just something...NOW! let's go get you some curly fries!
monkey: just for girls? that doesn't seem fair.
me: you have no idea.
monkey: you gonna use all 20?
me: not today. so, i'm thinking dinner for you guys...why don’t you pick.
monkey: think we can have chicken nuggets with the curly fries?
me: absolutely, that's a fine idea! (whew!)
aaaad scene...

now, i don't know where he got hydra out of hygiene, he probably didn't sound the word all the way out (like we have been practicing with our reading), but i'm glad today he went with his first guess. how would i explain hygiene? okay, that would’ve been fairly simple, but not of the feminine variety. it was hard enough explaining why mommy uses an eyelash curler & tweezes her eyebrows “on purpose” (he feels this grooming is unnecessary & aren’t i worried about poking at my eyeball) i was impressed with my ability to avert his attention…it’s getting better. i felt relieved traveling away from this overflow of questions until i looked up to see if anyone had overheard any of this; i may never erase the image of the cheeky-grinned stock boy passing through from my mind. will i ever be able to shop at this store again? sure, it takes much more for me to be totally embarrassed. & hey, i'm sure that it made him giggle.
kids are funny creatures, for sure!

heavy heart...

i know that i’m not alone in the sadness & heartbreak that i still feel over what happened last friday. pretty sure that i cried most of the day after i read online of the absolute unspeakable that had occurred in a family-oriented small town in connecticut. i thought “how could this happen?” but it did, & it was like the whole world stopped turning; or slow motion-like, for me at least. i had literally just left monkey’s school where i had helped out with a holiday party.

i always check in with the front desk when i visit & immediately walk over to the computerized i.d. thingy; insert driver’s license & look into the camera equals instant identification sticker. because of the morning’s events/last day before break/et ceteras, there was a ready-made visitor sticker handed to me by the kind lady that i’ve seen so many times before. no big deal. why would there be? i was simply going to engage in chaperone-y fun.

the kids, 2^nd graders, were already beaming from ear to ear…winter break was upon them. who wouldn’t be overjoyed? & that day only meant celebratory goodness. games, laughter, silliness, cupcakes…ahh, my element. their sweet little faces. the excitement. the hilarity of trying to create a human snowman with a roll of toilet paper. the sticky hands from attempting to create igloos with mini marshmellows & ornamental green wire. it was totally fun. i get such a kick out of any time that i can volunteer to help out with monkey’s class. & his classmates are so great…i’m always greeted with “hey, it’s your mom...look, your mom's here!” & the sweetest hugs. (i love me some hugs!)

once the party was over, i said “see in a bit” to the monkey. the children went to special areas; i stayed to clean up a bit, & headed out. since i only had about an hour to grab some lunch before sitting in the carpool line, i was sandwich shoppe bound. waiting for my yummy hummus ‘wich, i was still in my la la land of smiles & loveliness & santa lists recites &…then i go for my phone. bomb.shell! my heart freaking dropped! i ate my lunch by myself facing the window away from the crowded restaurant & felt so dizzy. you could have blown me over like a feather…as i’m sure was a feeling that most felt.

so thankful that i had not seen this/heard about this before-hand; because i could’ve easily & would’ve been in emotional robot mode instead of invested in the fun at hand. but, honey, was i sad in that line of cars waiting. stagnant. tearful. unable to wrap my brain around such…ready to see my monkey! hold him tight, love on him, kiss his face, smell his head. never let go? these were the thoughts in my head.

worst nightmare? most definitely. i’m a parent. i fear that helpless feeling; as i’m sure most moms & dads do. heck, everybody for that matter! the hubs was beside himself as well. these things make no sense. & every gamut of emotion runs its course.

so, what do we do? well, i’m not a super genius, but i can start by adding more “i love yous.” i have explained the events that have happened that day to my 8 year old & how there are a bazillion more good people than bad. (i try to remind myself, too) i see how these occurrences affect folks & how they either go from one extreme to the other. in my heart, i just think troubled souls will find a way…i’m not advocating gun yeas or neas. bad things happen. period. it’s awful. it’s disturbing. but it always puts things in perspective (for me, that is). i hope that i never know the unsettling chaos that some people endure, but i will say that my mind & spirit ache for them. i’m not a religious person, but i see a heaven that welcomes teeny tiny boys & girls & washes away any fears. i can’t protect my child’s every move…i know that. that scares me. that’s the new normal. & though i hate that i have to say no to monsters in the closet, but yes to them everywhere else…well, i will slowly get that. in the meantime, smooches to you & your babies. i understand the worry, but life goes on. & to the children & protectors of this tragedy…those angels, young & old…we will remember you always.

*p.s. watch over the rest of us!

girl facts...

(or some of mine, at least)

you don't have to wait until february 14th to spend a bazillion dollars on roses. i would enjoy fresh flowers any day, even wild roadside finds.

when you know how i take my coffee or my favorite things to snack on, it’s loverly.

romance doesn't have to stress you out or break the bank. it’s the simplest of things or sweetness that really counts.

i do appreciate some sword fighting, ass kicking, testosterone filled movies, but i will not pretend that the genre's my bag. i adore a good chick flick at heart. (eek, or horror!)

slave over a hot stove, go ahead...i like that. (especially if you pick up the dirty dishes tab)

kisses are always welcome. slow dancing is too. (music is optional)

at times i cry. no reason. relax, you didn’t do anything.

i might love the monkey just a tad bit more...it's nothing personal. i hope you feel the same!

it has to be perfect...it just does. i don't know why, just go with it.

the moments when i’m most agitated...i know you're trying to be funny, but it's not helping.

if i'm over emotional or complicated chances are it’s not even "that lady time." aren’t you a lucky guy?

i really do like other women. society wants us to hate each other for some reason. truth is, secure gals long for the girl's night, the buncos, the lunch dates, the book clubs. no men, no kids...hell yeah!

bubble baths with candles & music can make the world drift away...who doesn't need that?!

aspca & feed the children commercials will always hit that soft spot.

i like when you tell me that i look good...on off days & special occasions. or pretty much whenever. but, i still don't fully believe you. don't try to figure that out.

when guys listen & remember things, it's like a miracle.

foot rub & back massage requests aren't always a gateway to sex. my feet & back do ache...just saying. (this is also a nod to the phrase "i'm exhausted"...it's not a cold dagger to your manhood, it actually means..."i'm exhausted!")

i swoon at the way you play & love & talk to our child. warm fuzzies every time.

i'm still convinced that a woman invented the microwave oven...who else would've vied for a hot meal after everyone else was fed & happy? am i wrong?

i get giddy over pink & lace & sparkly stuff, but if it's dirt & grime that must go down...i don't even wince at the challenge.

i may not prefer guns or range places or bullet shells as decor, but i do appreciate the thought of being safe from potential bad guys & zombies when the world finally goes to crap.

when i can't find a certain pair of shoes or a shirt or whatever, it's just because i want to look my best...for you.

there's always a method to my madness...my estrogen fueled, freak out-ish madness.

cry for help...

okay, so i’m kind of at a road/writer’s/witty block. i know, it happens. i have things to say & stories to tell, but i feel like when i attempt to elaborate on the misadventures or observations of ash that they’re like snoozeville, usa. everytime i start a new blog, i instantly wish i had an old typewriter so i can crumple up the paper & pretend to be jordan with a trashcan hoop.

what is going on? i’m dry, folks. second guessing my ability to reach a common ground with any audience. this just isn’t me. i usually have so much nonsense rattling around, & could care less who reads it or not; i just put it out there. lately, this is not the case, & i’m not exactly sure why.

maybe i need fresh musings. going into the new year, i’d like to be inspired outside of my everyday norms. perhaps, i’ll bring surveys back? lists of randomness? best quotes; movies, music? do you want more kitchen witchery type stuff? maybe my confidence is just down these days. oh no, maybe my funny bone is broken…i am accident-prone, ya know?!

help! i am calling from all corners & enlisting your aid. i don’t want to hit a wall when i need to share, but i definitely don’t want to bore anyone or cause them to lose interest.

comment here or message me incognito-like. (also, my twitter “handle” is @miscellaneash)

thanks miscellane-folk…i hope to be rejuvenated really soon. (*gosh, this is sad. will i even post this? yes, yes i think i will.)

30 days...

i’ve been seeing all this daily thankfulness being posted on facebook & i wanted to jump on the bandwagon (because i’m thankful for stuff, too) but instead of boring people on a daily basis, i thought i’d just get it all out in one post! so, here it goes…

1. family. hubs & monkey. rents, sissy & fam, in-laws, & all the rest of the clan. (good, bad, & crazy)
2. monkey. (because he gets his own separate line...my love, my life, my monkey-monk!)
3. roof over our heads.

4. coffee. (if i come in contact with you regularly, you know to be thankful too.)
5. our animal kids.
6. music. naturally.
7. friends. old & new.
8. concealer & burt's bees.
9. warm blankets & warm bodies to snuggle under them with.
10. spanx.
11. the ability to fly. i know, i can't actually "fly," but i'd be super grateful if i could.
12. bravo & food network. plus, those marathons rock my socks.
13. cupcakes.
14. sandwiches. any variety. (hold meat & oregano, of course)
15. underwire.
16. positive people.
17. books.
18. weekends.
19. bubble baths.
20. rainy days.
21. compassion, passion...all the -sions.
22. shiny things. big & small, short & tall.
23. diy & crafty shenanigans.
24. beer.
25. beauty in random places.
26. french everything; language, art, kisses...
27. cold weather garb; leggings, tights, scarves, boots.
28. bright lights, big cities.
29. homegrown whatevers.
30. readers that let me ramble on.

holly jolly ponderings...

why does the “short” week at work/school drag forever & the “long” weekend fly by super fast?

i love picking out a christmas tree…i really do. (& i am in the holiday spirit, but seeing those trees all wrapped up made me giggle…’fifty shades of frasier fir’)

why is there always one strand of xmas lights that doesn't want to play well with others? how can half of it just not work? just half…of the whole thing…after you’ve checked them…really?

thank goodness i don’t have a little girl, who is obsessed with barbie, to buy for this year. that human barbie chick has me totally weirded out & haunts my dreams.

how come some people (adults) turn into the biggest brats around the holidays? don’t they know that santa’s watching?

i really want to meet the person that gets the brand new car with the obnoxious bow on it for christmas. & then i want to know where i can get that big ‘ol bow!

i am so emotional lately…what the heck is up with that?

of course my child wants an animal for christmas. how does one (me) hide a critter until the morning of?

why have i not seen one classic christmas movie yet? my tradition is at least the original ‘miracle on 34^th street’ no later than sunday night post thanksgiving. (i’m behind schedule already)

we (hubs & i) actually did a pseudo-black friday line waiting event (we only ventured to one store) it was comical…folks were grabbing up cheap as dirt deals & making a bee line to the lay-a-way department. what the crap is that cheater-y nonsense?

why are folks so personally offended by the abbreviation “xmas?” i type it a lot. it’s quick & easy & i have never done it out of spite. i didn’t make it up to piss you off. so what gives? it’s not like i’m all “merry xxx-mas!”

i always wish i had beaucoups of money to buy every child a coat & a toy that needs them this time of year. perhaps one day i can do that; i have big dreams.

will our loved ones see an actual “merry/happy from us” holiday card this year? i’m wondering this myself.

i really want to have a heinous christmas sweater party. sadly, my guest list is bleak.

can i just say how much i adore homemade/handcrafted gifts? it’d be nice to know some of these same folks to exchange with.

i plan on cooking or baking some shenanigans from now until the big day, whenever time will permit…seriously.

the holidays always remind me that i will never be good enough for the in-laws, but that’s okay. i’ve had, what, almost 20 years to prepare for this?! (so i say “meh!”)

at the end of the day i love taking care of people all year round, & maybe one day someone will want to take care of me. (or at least want to get to know me…ha!)

& oh, yea…twinkies? nooo! by the way, i can’t even remember the last time i had one. maybe it’s that “ya don’t miss it until it’s gone” kind of thing.

thanksgiving's already gone, ya'll...

who wasn’t scared, unprepared, or a little drunk? totally kidding, but really what did you do to ready for the occasion?

maybe your momma does it all every year & all you have to do is show up. maybe you were elected a side of sorts. or maybe you volunteered yourself this year for the whole kit & caboodle...ya poor bastard!

for me, i love opportunities to bring "stuff!" i adore being in my kitchen & whipping up this & that. now, i'm not experimenting on friends & fam, per se, but yea, i kind of am.

i have been busting at the seams to make an oyster dressing for some time now. (ps...i've never even had it before) it just sounded super yum. where on earth do i find the very best recipe? of course, my fingers immediately type 'pioneer woman.' & what'dya know...there it was; hooray!

the pw way: (complete cuteness at thepioneerwoman.com)

• 3 cups cornbread, cut into cubes
• 2 loaves ciabatta or other crusty italian bread, cut into cubes
• 2 tablespoons bacon fat or butter
• 3 cans oysters, drained, liquid reserved
• 4 whole carrots, diced
• 6 stalks celery, diced
• 2 whole small onions, diced
• 8 cups turkey (or chicken) broth
• 1/2 teaspoon ground sage
• 1 teaspoon chopped rosemary
• salt and pepper, to taste
• 2 whole eggs
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

allow all bread cubes to sit uncovered for several hours or overnight until it's dry. place all the cubed bread in a large mixing bowl.

heat bacon fat or butter in a large skillet over medium heat. add carrots, celery, and onions, and stir to combine. cook for 3 to 4 minutes.

add oysters and stir around for 1 minutes. remove from heat and pour over the bread cubes. sprinkle on the sage, the rosemary, and salt and pepper. then add the broth while tossing bread cubes with a large spoon. stir in egg.

stop after adding 5 or 6 cups of liquid to give the mixture a taste. add more broth to taste, until it gets to the moisture level you like. adjust seasonings as needed. hint: if you think it needs a little more of an oyster kick, splash in a small amount of the oyster liquid. (a little goes a long way!)
pour mixture into a large baking dish (or stuff the bird if you prefer.) bake it in a 350 degree oven for 25 to 30 minutes or until golden brown on top. serve with your thanksgiving dinner.

your tummy just growled a bit, huh…even if you’re still a little holiday hungover like me. & unlike my usual, i did not deviate from this recipe…in dee i trust! with the exception of creating cornbread from a box mix because of my time issues & a la veggie style, using butter versus bacon fat & vegetable broth versus chicken or turkey. (had to make it to where i could eat it too, right?!)

her version is much prettier than mine :)

 



i also had to throw in an old faithful dip (because i am dubbed the “dip queen” by the hubs' fam), jalapeno popper dip. it doesn’t take long to prepare & takes even less time to be devoured. it’s super easy & always a favorite.

(i may have shared this one before, but here it is again)

1 8 oz block cream cheese

½ cup mayo

½ cup shredded cheddar cheese

4 oz pickled jalapeno peppers

2 jalapeno peppers chopped

¼ cup parmesan reggiano, (or i’ll use like a mozzarella if i’m fresh out of that)

combine all ingredients together. top with a parmesan & panko mixture. i also place extra jalapeno slices on top. bake at 350* for about 20 minutes.

 

so, thanksgiving is over, but the holidays are truly just starting. it’s never too late to try something new for all those parties & get togethers coming up. enjoy!

 

 



birthdays are weird...

when you're little, the thought of another year older means parties & presents, & can't seem to come fast enough. the older i get, i realize that time just can't seem to slow down...& i become so sappy & almost homesick over these memories that cloud my brain. i start to recall old songs & people & places & things.

i remember wanting to be older with a chic group of friends, a bazillion boyfriends, a style that everyone envied, & a calendar filled to the max with only the raddest events. (i know, right?!) i wanted to be an artist in a huge, fast-paced, hip city & live in a studio apartment over a night club or something.

i remember trying to lie about my age all the freaking time...i say "try" because i'm a horrible liar. but at times, it worked; buying cigarettes, meeting older guys (translation: older teenagers, whoa!), getting into movies/music shows/raves. a short skirt, heels, & a shit ton of makeup, right? who was i kidding…ha! (of course, being a cute girl probably helped my cause.)

i remember being fascinated by fashion & music (& i still am) i remember my first real kiss, love & heartache. i remember the first time that i read woolf, dickinson, hemingway, nin…& how their words were so captivating. i remember writing poems & song lyrics & love letters & talking on the phone for like, forever. i remember watching my first horror/black & white/musical/comedic movie & realizing how much i loved them all. i remember my first concert; even more so, my first punk rock show in a hole in the wall bar (& i was hooked). i remember the first funeral that i went to for a friend instead of an elderly or sick relative; unfortunately, i would go to many more. i remember my first job, car, & hangover (not all in the same day, mind you)! i remember feeling so cool after getting my first tattoo. i remember thinking that when i grew up…wow, it’d be the most amazing thing ever & i could not wait! (don’t get me wrong, i adore my life, but you have to admit that the perception of the child is way off base from the actual “adult.” i still have no clue what i want to be when i “grow up!”)

i think about all the different personalities that i've encountered in my life. how they've affected me, shaped me, called me friend or sweetheart at some space in time. i think about those that are passed on (but not forgotten) & those that are living their lives in various places. i miss them all for different reasons; i look forward to seeing them again face to face, & not just out in cyberspace (but glad that's an option).

i wonder if others have these moments. what triggers them? for me, it could be as simple as a dream or a song or, well, a certain occasion. i remember everything; adventures, sweet moments, conversations, secrets. it’s probably pretty silly, but it’s just how i am…living in the present, but always reminiscing about the past. wow, that sounds kind of tragic, but i swear that i mean it in the healthiest of ways. maybe i’m lucky in that way…it gives me writing material after all.

they don't call me smooth (for a reason)...

so, i've been hindered, fractured, broken?...what have you...for a week! i managed to catch my hand in a closing door. or, trap it in a closed door; heavy door. the way it caught was both alarming & painful. do i vomit or cry?

i thought (of course, ouch) but then i sorta laughed. story of my life, right?! when am i not hurting myself? i am, after all, a walking accident waiting to happen. still, i try with my half missed illusions of grandeur. omg! it super hurts & it is totally not cool. perhaps so much worse than i choose to admit, & i am not the best at “taking it easy.” i missed clients last week at school, i can't do silly everyday things; most of all i couldn't physically contribute to monkeys birthday cake!

but, i usually do the cake. creative designer, grocery list writer, secret ingredient of love provider; your idea sounds "okay," but i do the cake! (or you know, i like to be in charge?) i had to surrender. the vision was shared with the hubs. he would create said cake. oh, sweet jeebus, i was a bit nervous.
now, he did a great job & i promised not to be a "backseat driver," buuuut...some things were lost in translation. like, it's a 12" pan, so "we'll" need (to keep it simple) 2 cake mixes. seeing as how a single box of betty or whatever will provide (2) 9" pans of cake loveliness, i didn't foresee an issue. the process was discussed. i even got the necessities out & put them in the counter. the man, bless his heart, used the 2 boxes; to fill the entire mold! (proof that no one ever listens to me...ever) let's just say it took a wee bit longer in the oven to bake than the recommended instructions spoke of. i may have hyperventilated, just a tad. fine…a lot.

fortunately, the cake turned out a-okay. it was late friday night, so i suggested saving the frosting for in the morning. sounds reasonable, right?! only hubs left it...the cake...in the pan...overnight. come saturday morning, that sucker was not coming out to play. in lieu of it falling apart, we decided to just ice it in the pan. (am i the only one who would have a minor freak out over this? just the thought made me die a little. yes, i worry about the overall appearance.)

cake is decorated. looks amazing. i am humbled...thank you, hubs! monkey absolutely loves it…which is the most important thing, after all.

en route to the party place, i must take a picture of this cool pokemon inspired cake. with my one good hand, i scroll to cam &...drop my iphone on top of the damn thing! wow! red icing is everywhere. & it stains, so by the time everything is wiped off, my hands look as if i've killed something! party goes off like a hitch, but dang...i am constantly rolling my eyes at what the universe might throw at me next.
maybe i'm meant to constantly have material to blog about...can't make this craziness up! maybe i'm supposed to learn to let things go. maybe i need to appreciate the small stuff; like, asking for help, turning on the shower, or just opening up a jar of pickles. whatever comes along, i realize that i really hate being broken. seriously, it stinks!!

don't freaking blink...

monkey is 8 this week...how the hell did that happen? i just brought him home, what, a few weeks ago? jeez, i was just 27 a few weeks ago. the party days were done (or, you know, dwindling down for a minute) & it was time to start a family...that missing piece to the puzzle with my sass & spontaneity & the hubs' smarts (i hoped). but yikes, i remember months becoming weeks & then days away! p.s. why in the world do they glamourize a show like '16 & pregnant'...i was terrified in my late 20's with a "plan?"
yes, the child who was 9 days post (plus 13 hours of labor) refusing to show his gorgeous face is now a bright-eyed, smart as a whip, growing boy. at what age is the mom not cool anymore? nevermind, don't answer that! i just cannot wrap my brain around how amazing this child is; continues to be…& i’m totally biased, but i swear, it’s true. he definitely didn’t get it from me (well, maybe a little bit).
as the days grow closer to his party, i am totally unorganized. of course, it is the bane of my existence that my good intent & over the top ideas conflict with time. oh, time...you are my nemesis for sure!
some invites just made the mailbox (story of my life) & also, i have prepared nada! i can't stop reminiscing & looking at baby pictures. does this happen to any of you?
it will come together & it will be great. but in the meantime, gush with me for a minute (this sad lump of momma)...oh, & now i need a kleenex!

 

*sniff, sniff*

 

halloween's over...

now what? i'm not thinking about any other holidays just yet. i want to stay in the moment of fall & fun & spooky goodness; or denial, denial, denial.

besides catching every “shout out to scary movie” marathons on the tele, i've been in the kitchen savoring october smells. my favorite ingredient...pumpkin!

did you save your seeds after carving your jack o' lanterns? we did. this super easy & healthy snack goes like this...
separate seeds from pulp
clean seeds & spread onto a cookie sheet
i sprinkled mine with cinnamon & sugar & baked at 350* for 25 minutes (flipping/moving seeds around at 10 minutes in)

 



the possibilities are endless. make them plain, sweet, salty (sea salt, perhaps) or any spice, usa; even toss them in something fun like taco seasoning...could be interesting.

holy pulp...what do i do with you?

 

i've never made a pumpkin bread before, so that's exactly what transpired today. i found a great recipe & had all but one teensy teaspoon of baking soda (which i borrowed from my pops)

i crossed my fingers & got to baking.

2 stick(s) unsalted butter, melted, plus more for greasing pans-only i just used my standby non-stick baking spray
2.5 cup(s) all-purpose flour (plus a bit for dusting pans)
1 cup(s) light-brown sugar
1 cup(s) granulated sugar
2 teaspoon(s) baking powder
1 teaspoon(s) baking soda
2 teaspoon(s) cinnamon
.75 teaspoon(s) ground cloves
2 cup(s) grated pumpkin (use a small-holed grater)
3 large eggs
.5 cup(s) buttermilk
1.5 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract

does anyone else have these extra pats of butter in their fridge?

 



i was just shy a couple of tablespoons (thank goodness, the boys decided to get pancakes Saturday morning) oh, & i totally lied about other ingredients…i never have buttermilk, but i used the ole 1 cup buttermilk = 1 cup milk plus 1 tablespoon vinegar (or lemon juice) let stand 10 minutes before incorporating into your recipe.

oh, yea…back to the bread…

preheat oven to 350°f. butter and flour two 9- by 5-inch loaf pans or two 8-inch cake pans and set aside. combine flour, sugars, baking powder, baking soda, and spices in a large bowl. add grated pumpkin and toss. whisk eggs, buttermilk, butter, and vanilla in a medium bowl and stir into dry ingredients. transfer to prepared pans and bake on middle shelf of oven until a wooden skewer inserted into center of bread tests clean, about 35 minutes. (mine seemed "done" closer to 40-45 minutes) cool in pans on a wire rack. run a knife around edges to release bread from pans.

 



i definitely think you folks should try these two yummies out if it sounds good to you. actually, pumpkins have dropped in price already & may make for an inexpensive welcome to november in these next few day.

i’m sad to see it go, but i hope everyone had a wonderful halloween!

his & hers anniversary...

last week the hubs & i celebrated our wedding anniversary...13 years, or lucky 13 as we have coined it. someone asked me if it really felt like that long, to which i delicately responded "hell yea!" juuust kidding, i truly have found my very best friend ever. it's kind of cool...his sanity gets stronger as mine continues to have peaks & valleys. but, at the end of the day, we keep each other pretty balanced.

naturally, it was no national holiday & we still had to commence to work & school. some funny cards were exchanged tuesday night & i was gifted some gorgeous earrings...now, we would just have to wait until the weekend to do it up "date night" style. the hubs had made reservations at one of our very favorite fine dining spots, so the whole rest of the week was spent daydreaming about what would truly be a yummilicious meal!

saturday night (after the hubs spent a remainder of the day addressing chicken coop escape routes), we set off to solstice kitchen, located in the sparkleberry part of columbia. i have never been disappointed by the service or food, but for some reason, this meal was so much better than i had remembered. like, freaking crazy delicious! after a bellini cocktail & calamari appetizer, i would single handedly engulf the best salmon dish of my life. i was tempted to lick the bowl that it was presented in, but then came to my senses...i do possess some etiquette about me.

coriander-ginger roasted salmon...green apple chutney, zinfandel-marsala reduction, sweet potato-georgia pecan "hash," sauteed spinach...i know, right?!



once dinner was devoured, we drove back over to our side of town to grab a beer at the local british pub; then retired home early to watch a movie on our comfy couch! (this is how we "party" sans monkey...ha!)

the next day, still starry-eyed from dinner, we had a few hours to chill & go through the motions of sleeping in & sipping coffee...which is always a special occasion in itself. the monkey had given strict instructions on a 3:30 pick up time from memaw's house (lawd...that child, that child)

the hubs is always talking about me joining him on a trip to the shooting range. i don't exactly like guns, per se, but i felt that as a nod to him, i'd give it an old fashioned go. he was very thorough about explaining rules & ways of handling & clips & safeties & all that other jazz that i have no clue about. i was a bit anxious about this experience, but heck, i'll try anything once!

can i just say, i was absolutely...terrified!! omg, there were loud noises going off everywhere; those big honking ear phone muff thingys only slightly muffled the ka-pows going on. i jumped every single time. i cried a little. i shot the 9mm like 3 or 4 times...the other big, long one (rifle?) a few more than that. whoa, not my new hobby...no ma'am. but, now i can appreciate it...i guess. & it's something the hubs enjoys & he was pleased that i at least went to see what it was all about. (thank goodness, that's over. more validation that i'm a lover, not a fighter!) after the fact, it's quite comical, but at the time...a super-sized om & a woosah!

do i look put together? cause i was shaking like a leaf!!



 

i'm pretty sure that this is what marriage is all about. looking forward to good times, food, & spirits together, taking an interest in the other's likings, & having stories & inside jokes to share for a lifetime (boy, do we have some good ones!).

overall, it was a his & hers & ours wonderful time. it's been quite a ride so far (18 years all together), & i can hardly wait for many more adventures!

**for a treat to your taste buds (while in the columbia, sc area) check out solsticekitchen.com. have little ones? they occasionally offer a "babysitter's night!" is that cool or what?!

comfort food...

this could mean a variety of things to many people, moods, & preferences. for me, today, it was an "om" moment & end to a wild & unruly day.

not even 8:30 this morning & the neighbor text me "are your chicks supposed to be out?" my half full cup of coffee would suddenly be in competition with the laps around the yard, hollering at the beagle dog, & near panic attack i was encountering (yes, i said hollering...i'm southern, y'all) anyhoot, after that fiasco, my morning proceeded to go downhill. who's the guy that turned everything to gold with a single touch...midas? yea, i was the opposite of him! just my whole body, mind, spirit, & voice was exhausted, worn out, & hoarse...all before lunchtime. (this week had been so amazing up until this point. what the heck happened?)

i have to admit, my one constant when i'm fighting off the negative voojoos of the universe is food...as bad as that sounds. i totally eat my feelings, hence the comfort part.

today i really needed something creamy or cheesy...a dip & chips...something warm & savory. i checked out the pantry to see what loveliness i could whip up. i saw a can of crabmeat. eureka! crab dip. i've never actually made crab dip before, but i do love it. a little bit of this, a block of that...here's what i came up with:

nonstick pan lightly coated with cooking spray (it's non fat, ladies...wink)
about 1/3 to 1/2 cup chopped onion
1 can (real or imitation) 6 oz crabmeat (i used the bumblebee brand pink crabmeat)
1 8 oz block neufchâtel cheese softened (or cream cheese)
1 10 oz can rotel, drained (hot with habanero)
worcestershire sauce

after the raw onion starts to sauté a tad, add the next 3 ingredients & marry together until everything is nice & creamy. stir in a few healthy drizzles of worcestershire. but wait, there's more...

pour the mix into a small baking dish. on top, add a mixture of panko & grated parmesan, a sprinkle of monterrey jack shredded cheese, & a few jalapeño peppers. bake 10 minutes at 350* or until cheese is melted.

a warm, yummy end to a most wonky day. clearly the kitchen gods were looking out for me, at least!

try it out if you have no crabby dip recipe yet & experiment to your own taste buds. as always, i never really measure, but you folks get the gist, yes?!

ah, comforting...i see some artichoke in the next batch...mmm! cheers to a much better tomorrow!

my little soapbox...

*disclaimer: i wouldn’t dare try to impose my personal opinions on anyone or attempt to sway them to follow “my way” or arrogantly boast my beliefs. but, you see, that’s the beauty of where i live…freedom of speech & expression, right?!*

"history will repeat itself, for it is the doom of man that he forgets" (churchill?) this was often quoted by my middle school history teacher (er, coach), 20 some odd years ago, & i'm not sure why i always remembered this, but it's very true. if only to have witnessed it in my lifetime alone, even though it profoundly precedes my generation. (scary, huh?!) but, it got me thinking, & maybe that's one of the reasons why i took an interest in history, politics, government. (& all things; victories & missteps alike, that foreshadow the future of our country.)

i've never much considered any political stance based on a straight ticket party. i've always found a common bond with the person that was campaigning for the job (i know, how weird am i?) how will this candidate affect my life; my surroundings, my needs? the very first election that i was able to vote, oh my goodness, was super exciting. i was well read on the issues & ready to consummate my adulthood; my citizenship. my opinion counts, dammit...i still believe this. every vote counts!

it was the clinton era! (roll your eyes if you must, but i, to this day, revere this man & find him genius.) the years would follow & even more, i would become engaged in what was manifesting around me. my one would become two, & then a little one would enter the picture. what's the most socially, environmentally, economically, & educationally sound choice for our family? who cares about us? these are the things i would concentrate on. granted, you have to break a couple of eggheads to make an omelette (is that how it goes?) i still continued to make it on election day with baby monkey in tow. & although i adore the hubs & we are almost always on the same page, i would feel (& he agrees) lost as a citizen & an american (as dreadfully cheesy as that sounds) if i solely relied on his npr loving-msn reading-"man of the house" point of view. our household doesn't work that way. i am fortunate to know & love a man who respects me as an equal. albeit, goofball, i am actually a lot smarter than folks give me credit or even realize. & now, as i grow even older, i choose to act for those who are no longer here on this earth, but would be glad that i spoke for them...hmm, these are the thoughts that motivate my voice.

now, i won't say who i am voting for, but i will give you a hint. i've decided to vote for the candidate who DOES NOT dismiss...women; with thoughts, expression, & intellect, animals, big bird, tree huggers, tree planters, love, "gays", the homeless, the poor (semi, demi, paycheck to paycheck, robbers of peter to pay paul), middle class (is that not essentially the majority? just saying) mimes, wounded (mentally & physically) soldiers, minorities, the elderly, peace makers, liberal arts, immigrants (who built this country, no?), shared opportunities for every person, health care, the thought of life in the 21st century, hope, perseverance, separation of church & state, religious freedom. (okay, so i may have gotten carried away...he may actually be freaked out a bit by mimes.) but, yea, that guy!

i genuinely still think choosing the best person is important versus labeling oneself to a particular party. am i still left of center...yes. but does the world & social issues & needs change? most definitely. for example, my grandfather was a die hard democrat until the day he died...straight ticket all the way. of course, he came from a time when basically, democrats were "republicans" & republicans were...wait for it..."democrats!" but, really, who was gonna argue with a man who survived ww2? (or, not to discredit, was raised in a slavery loving rural south who hosted dixie/democrats at the local baptist church?) see, the times are constantly changing.

& no matter who you vote for, please vote. it counts. read, pay attention, find out exactly what suits your situation now & 10-20 years from now (because one single person cannot totally fix a decade of work that waits for them before even entering office) don't be intimidated & don't feel like you can't make a difference! see you at the polls, folks!!

fall is...

football

local festivals

fundraisers

cool brisk mornings...hot coffee, cardigan, & an outdoor rocking chair

planting fall veggies

pumpkin picking

skeletons & skulls & all things "wicked"

choosing the right costumes for halloween

trick or treat

hot chocolate

the urge to make every soup, stew, crock pot chili...

warm desserts that melt in your mouth

daylight savings

leg warmers & scarves

fair food

warm fuzzies

birthdays

donating coats & clothes & food; buying toys for little boys & girls that we don't necessarily know

being thankful

ginormous sweaters

bonfires…s’mores

oyster roasts

scary movies

drives in the country

the leaves changing, falling...

reflections on the passing year

my absolute favorite time ever!

why is it that...

if my hair & makeup cooperate at the same time, there are no photo opps, or even people around. but if on a random tuesday (looking heinous), i’m at the freaking walmart, then i’ll see you…& you…oh, & you (what’s it been? 20 years now…fabulous!)?

i torture myself with the food network in the wee hours of the morning when i can’t sleep?

my heart beats all crazy & i have the urge to vomit every day before school, but once i’m there, things are fine? (does this ever go away?)

the housekeeping isn’t any better around my house. easily distacted? (yes.) but, if someone were to call & say that they’d be here in half an hour…my hieny would be in gear & this place would be spotless?

some people still use religion as a platform to be hateful, harmful, & hurtful?

i can’t tell a lie…or, well? i suck at it. it is both a blessing & a curse (not exactly my first choice for a superhero power)

at bedtime, the sink is clean, but in the morning, it’s full of dishes?

i’ve never learned how to play the harmonica?

i take my own bags to the grocery store, only to have them filled halfway & 20 bazillion plastic bags make their way into my cart? (with one or two items per bag, mind you. i’ve stood there before, rebagged my shiz & sweetly handed the bags back to them…yes, i did.)

i constantly fuss at the dog for barking relentlessly at everything (air, squirrels, poor kids walking down the street), but worry when he’s too quiet for an extended amount of time?

‘the real housewives of’ whatever totally captivate me? & of course, anything on bravo (super dork moment) except miami…not a fan of that cast for some reason.

we finally have maternity coverage again on our health insurance plan & the monkey is almost 8 & i am almost…well, that doesn’t matter…(aye!)?

all i really wanna do these days is find the time (quiet, that is) to curl up with a juicy new book? (i took for granted all those times i could & did in the past…i miss it.)

i am so tough on myself; to be the best mother, wife, student; a skinny person? at the end of the day, who’s really taking score but me anyways?

harvesting fall vegetables are my newest goal? nothing really grows in my backyard, but i am hell bent for some reason.

my surroundings are starting to show signs of skeletons, skulls, & “poison?” oh yea, halloween…which is the best. (maybe i’ll just keep some of these fun things up year round.)

during the day, i can go hours without eating, but late at night i crave yums that i shouldn’t indulge in?

certain shows or pictures or advertisements remind me how much i miss my antiques shoppe?

a song can take you right back to a particular place in time?

i want to write a million things down when i should be going to bed?

it makes it easier to get through a nerve-racking ordeal when you know someone, personally, that has gotten through the same (or equal to) & seemed to somehow survive & move on?

i haven’t jumped out of a plane yet? definite bucket list material.

when my hair was straight, i longed for some waves & now that it’s wavy, i wish it were straight?

there hasn’t been a decent scary movie to come out in forever? (i need some like, old school, scared to use the bathroom by yourself kind of horror. does that exist anymore?)

ghosts have never scared me? maybe because i’ve seen them…my mom has seen them. i’ve never felt anything but a little sad.

good guys finish last &/or die young? i never have figured that one out.

i don’t have a tiara? i think i need one.

everyone likes to hear the words “you’re my first” until it’s followed by the word “haircut?”