sign o' my times...

i'm not getting older...i'm not getting older...i'm not getting...who am i kidding? all the signs are totally there. and truth is, i'm not actually that old! i mean, not like super old (of course 40, 50, & 60 year olds seem younger to me everyday). so why are all these obvious & sometimes embarrassing things occurring all of a sudden. or am i just now recognizing them? either way, they're there/here/now! 
and maybe it's just me...but let's see if you can relate, shall we?! are you sitting? enter at own risk (don't say i didn't warn ya) & i hope you've taken your anti-depressant today.


-no more all-nighters without serious consequences...mental & physical.
-i catch myself humming along to the musaq in an elevator or department store, then realize it was my prom &/or wedding song!
-make up is now essential. no, scratch that...mandatory!
-due to childbirth or some sick biological joke, i am forced to wear clinical strength deodorant to avoid sweating profusely.
-i have a receding hair line...awesome! but thanks to the pioneering efforts of tyra banks, the 5 finger forehead is somewhat cute. or i'll just trim up the ole bangs tomorrow!
-my teeth are too sensitive for regular toothpaste now. i get to use the $6 variety.
-my neck & reverse bicep are apparently in a race to see who can resemble a bird first.
-tweens/teens are crazy, loud, & spastic as hell!! then i remember, so was i 20 some odd years ago.
-TUMS is quickly becoming my favorite four-letter word.
-i find myself coveting other people's beautiful lawns.
-i am totally in love with my front loaders!
-i can still "drop it like it's hot!" it just takes a minute to jump back up.
-i catch myself tearing up when i hear of a marriage &/or birth announcement from the little kids i used to babysit.
-the more i investigate healthcare & social security, the more terrified i get.
-i actually have a 'bucket list!'
-certain aches & pains lead me to believe a chance of rain is in the forecast.
-i know that most of the actors for "harry potter" & "twilight" are of legal age, but i still think of chris hansen when i swoon a little too much.
-i find the words of my mother & father flying out of my mouth before i can stop them.
-i'm the proud owner of all those coupons in line at the grocery store...suck it!
-my child kicks my butt in the memory game...& i stopped letting him win 2 years ago.
-i have more than a few each of boxes marked halloween & xmas stuff in the attic.
-i swear i only have one "good side," (if any at all) when it comes to pictures.
-being lazy & not doing housework makes me feel like i'm letting june cleaver down. (this usually passes fairly quickly though)


any signs of your times yet? it's gonna happen & there's really nothing i can do but laugh! i'm sure there's more...they'll come to me later when i can't sleep & i'm wondering how many licks it actually does take to get the center of a tootsie roll pop!