mother of the year?...

not looking for the nomination any time in the future. not trying to be (really)…that would require too much uptight preparation & not enough spontaneous learning experiences. but, i do believe that women are constantly under scrutiny for how well, or the opposite, the children of this decade are being raised.

i try really hard to do what is best for my child & our little family, but my home, & how we choose to do things, is never going to be like anyone else’s…ever. there is no handbook for this, only lots of common sense, finger crossing, & thanks to the universe for each new sunrise & sunset.

i would never attempt to criticize or judge another mother; if the child is healthy, happy, & so on, then who am i? who is anyone?

i am not ashamed one bit by how things operate around my own house. hey, i’m still learning…every day! thought i might share some of my foibles, small victories, & fun discoveries. agree or disagree; i could care less. (but i have a hunch that maybe i’m not the only one who feels that i should jump on someone else because they are doing things “wrong?” this is just craziness to me.)

i did…breastfeed. i wanted to really badly; to try at least. i almost didn’t get through the first two weeks. it’s not that damn “natural,” there wasn’t support oozes at the seams, & i felt more of an inconvenience (at times) to other people than to myself. i nursed for over a year. i am very proud of myself for that.

i don’t…ostracize new moms who choose not to breastfeed or physically can’t do it. it’s not for everyone…it just isn’t.

i didn’t…cut my child’s hair for years. yes, it was my personal choice. yes, my child is a boy (people were quite concerned with this for some annoying reason) i adored it! & only after much irritating comments & rather backhanded compliments, & a preschool teacher (who is family) took the liberty of transforming long hair into a more mulleted style (i about freaking died!), the hubs took monkey for his first short haircut.

i did…let the opinions & projected ideas of others affect an innocent little thing like a haircut influence me. the fact that my child can make his own choice about his hair (because, why not? it’s his hair) & likes to keep it short is perfectly fine. it is definitely not because i am mindful if others like it or not.

i don’t…(purposely) include my child in on adult topics or situations or television shows, but they are little sponges & hear things, etc. the way that i know that it’s cool is that my child will excuse himself or bring it to my attention that perhaps he shouldn’t be listening or watching certain things unfold….at 7! go figure.

i do…answer questions in an adult/kid friendly manner. i’ll never give a because “god” made it like that or a condescending explanation because i might not know the facts. i will research or invite him to google with me to find out why the sky is blue or why our area is more prone to hurricanes versus tornados or what is the true difference between reptiles & amphibians (real questions & i have to say, i learned some stuff).

i don’t…deprive my child of meat just because i don’t eat it. he likes chicken nuggets & bologna & the occasional hot dog at grammy’s. that’s it! i have tried different things with him…he prefers the veggie alternatives. wait, he did try country fried steak & says he loves it & will feast on a sloppy joe. he will not touch pepperoni pizza or hamburgers or any normal meaty kid-like thing. not my taste or suggestions…him, all him. but, dang that’s a good bit of meat when i type it all out…so why the hell do i get so much crap about his diet? (grrrr)

i do…hide veggies in food. where i can; pureed, disguised, made into fun shapes…sue me. i refuse (still) to fight at the dinner table. & you know what? if there is something that is adamantly not liked, i will not make it again. i figure one day, he will eat me out of house & home no matter what is being served!

i do…let my child play video games. lots of video games. he wakes up in the morning, eats breakfast, & plays his 3ds on the way to school. he has probably ever game console out there, or close to. but this is a him & his dad thing. they play together…they spend time together (at home…we do go outside) & i don’t have a problem with it. i can furnish these toys, so i will. i think that it’s not only heightened his problem solving & quick thinking skills, but has also encouraged a very avid imagination & passion for drawing.

i don’t…take my child to church. we do not have a firm stand in organized religion, so why would i? does he know the words to ‘jesus loves me?’ of course. if he is invited to a sleepover when he is of age & asks to attend sunday school, i have no problem with that. it’s taken me many years of deciding for myself where i stood in this massive world (still searching, actually). i would never deny him of that option.

i do…give in to wild or exotic animals as pets. c’mon, what kid doesn’t want a pet? or wants to bring something home? even if it is sometimes creepy, crawly, or slimy? i see it as positive development, teaching responsibility, & being compassionate towards another living thing. (even if that tarantula haunts mommy’s dreams)

i do…teach my child that everyone is different for a reason; that people are different shapes & sizes & colors, but all have special gifts to share; different cultures are awesome, & that if we were all the same that it would just be super boring!

i don’t…never ever ever use any type of racial, sexist, or flat out mean-spirited slur. i am guilty of calling crazy drivers morons, & may use the occasional expletive (which i get called on immediately), but to openly show disgust or hatred for someone that i may or may not know because they’re not me? not in my heart…& hopefully, by example, not in his either.

i do…feel guilty about leaving my child four nights a week to go to school. it makes me feel a little selfish, but then i remember that if i’m a better person for me, then i can be a better person for him. & even though i get to make sure half of his homework is done before i drop him off at his gram’s, it’s more than maybe some folks can accomplish working multiple jobs or not getting to spend time with their kids at all.

i do…encourage music every day, in everything & everywhere. all types. it’s no secret that it has saved my soul more than once & thankfully the love is shared a la hubs & passed down to the monk…genetics? other than a meteorologist, my child might just be a break dancer…he’s been practicing. i’ll be a proud momma no matter what.

i don’t…spank my child. i don’t. i’ve never had a reason to. my emotions have never ran that gamut where i felt the need to…how do you say? “take him over my knee?” it’s been, in fact, so long since i’ve had to enforce even a “time out,” that i don’t even remember the last time. 

i do…believe in hugs & kisses & laughter & surprises & fun & discipline (when needed) & respect (on both sides) & schoolwork & being involved & checking to make sure that the monkey is breathing before i go to bed (every single night!)

 

so, yea…probably not a candidate for mother of the year, but i am happy with mine & the hub’s (we’re a strong team) decisions. & even though someone may see my parental methods as “new age” (i’ve been told this) or too relaxed or “just you wait!’…that’s okay. i never said i was the perfect, go-to for awesome kids, mom. can’t pretend to be & won’t! just going to take it day by day. i continue to thank my lucky stars & dream of raising a decent human being. what normal parent wouldn’t?