top secret cheese...

ever had one of those days when you are sick of looking in the fridge to leftovers that were never eaten, dishes that you’ve been searching for hiding in the back corners; only to realize that the wall décor & surrounding island & cookbook shelf is covered in about a thousand dust bunnies? that was me today. i cranked that music up & must’ve scrubbed for hours. but, that’s not what prompted this post. (even though, i just told the world what a slob i am, didn’t i?)

no, this is about something near & dear to my heart…pimiento cheese. not just any, the hubs’ grandmother’s pimiento cheese. it was the freaking best ever ever ever! i used to look forward to his family’s christmas get together every year because i knew she would be handing out a little jar of this homemade goodness to everyone (it doesn’t take much for me to get excited, obviously.) i wish i had thought to ask her for the recipe while she was still with us; guessing at the time it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

about a year after she passed away (2007ish), i asked the next reliable source about the recipe to this goodness, the mother-in-law. naturally, i didn’t see the harm in the request. what would follow next was an “um…i’ll make you some.” & then a quick change of subject. this happens every single time that i’ve mentioned it. what the hell? you’d think i was seeking out the deepest of family secrets, treasures, or trying to suck my way up the living will ladder. it’s not like i’m a newbie to this clan; i’ve put in my time…18 years worth. & i did refer to miss helen as grandma, too. i adored her; she claimed me. why can’t i know the recipe?

which brings me to today. after the refrigerator was stripped & hosed down, it was sadly bare. i made a shopping list & immediately decided that on this day, i would attempt to recreate the great, coveted cheesey spread. i had ruled out sharp shredded cheddar cheese; it had to be velveeta for sure (oober creaminess factor) also, pimientos…duh. i had remembered a conversation with one of the aunts (by marriage...she's an outsider like me) over this mystery. we had decided that there was just a touch of mayo.

once i got home from the store & made some dinner, i got to work. listen, there is no straight forward recipe for this southern cheese classic that seemed to resemble the one i vied for. after a few keyword searches & palette memories, here’s what i came up with.

1.5 lbs of velvetta cheese (or ¾ of the 32 oz block)

4 oz of pimientos

2 tbsp mayonnaise

1 tbsp white vinegar

¼ cup of sugar

i grated the cheese…holy softest cheese ever, batman! but, i figured this would be the easiest way to mix it with the other ingredients & get that super creamy result. (not a fan of the mealy texture that regular shredded sharp cheddar creates). i (with my handy hubs measurement converter) figured that each ounce = 2 tbsp. this was handy info seeing as how i had grabbed a 7 oz jar of pimientos at the grosh. mayo, vinegar, & sugar with the mixture, only i used half the sugar in mine (about 2 tbsp) & thank goodness that i did. it was a tad bit sweet for my taste. i even went back at the end & added half a tbsp. of mayo to cut the sweetness. mix, mix, mix, & an upper body workout later…voila!

granted, it’s still not “grandma’s,” but it’s pretty dang yummy & at least i have something to experiment upon until it taste like hers did. can’t wait to perfect it & then, well…guess who might just be passing out little jars this christmas?