"give me a kiss to build a dream on"...

i’m not sure when i acquired this fantasy, happily ever after, romantic, dreamy-eyed side of myself. of course, every little girl at some point picks up on love & kissing & hearts & trumpets that sound doves in the air…it’s geared in our gender direction. (boys are tough…grrr.) always a lover of fairy tales & love stories. been writing poems about this since i could...well, write. & i remember being a huge JEM admirer; part regular girl & part rock star, who had a boyfriend who took a liking to each persona. “who is he kissing?” indeed, JEM! (you were truly outrageous!) but, as we grow, some of us lose that make believe shit quick…teen pfft attitudes, the one that broke our heart, the love stinks mantra. but not me. i admit, i am still that little girl daydreaming about spending her days with the one…embracing, gazing, forever & ever. damn you, john hughes!! (are you throwing up yet? stay focused, people!)

reality check! this happens though, right? somewhere? not just in hollywood; in the movies…please. ugh, it does, but it truly doesn’t have to! i have a friend who once posed this mind blowing comparison to me about romance…disney vs shakespeare. & being the hopeless gal that i am, i beg that there has to be a happy, yet realistic medium. i often think about this though, because i so love the polar opposites of the ideology of love & relationship! impossible expectations either way, but so lovely (& twisted on so many levels!!)

wow…insert heart on this sleeve…right here. seriously! & it’s not that my heart has never been broken. oh, baby, it has. but, it’s all good. i still believe in love & allll its glory. & i wouldn’t have been married 12 years if i didn’t. (not always picture book, but love, nonetheless)

sooo, let me back up a bit, as i am speaking of romance, but referencing love. they are intertwined, yes (i think), but can & do, in the “real world” mean two totally different things. let’s ask the ole dictionary, shall we?!

romance:   rō-măns', rō'măns') n.

1.  
1. a love affair.
2. ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love: they kept the romance alive in their marriage for 35 years.
3. a strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something: a childhood romance with the sea.
2. a mysterious or fascinating quality or appeal, as of something adventurous, heroic, or strangely beautiful: "these fine old guns often have a romance clinging to them" (richard jeffries).
3.  
1. a long medieval narrative in prose or verse that tells of the adventures and heroic exploits of chivalric heroes: an arthurian romance.
2. a long fictitious tale of heroes and extraordinary or mysterious events, usually set in a distant time or place.
3. the class of literature constituted by such tales.
4.  
1. an artistic work, such as a novel, story, or film, that deals with sexual love, especially in an idealized form.
2. the class or style of such works.
5. a fictitiously embellished account or explanation: we have been given speculation and romance instead of the facts.
6. music. a lyrical, tender, usually sentimental song or short instrumental piece.
7. romance: the romance language

love: (lŭv) n.

1. a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2. a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
3.  
1. sexual passion.
2. sexual intercourse.
3. a love affair.
4. an intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
5. a person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. often used as a term of endearment.
6. an expression of one's affection: send him my love.
7.  
1. a strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
2. the object of such an enthusiasm: the outdoors is her greatest love.
8. love mythology. eros or cupid.
9. often love christianity. charity.
10. sports. a zero score.

in a book or prose or greek rhapsody, i’d engulf most of these as my own. but okay, enter everyday & whatever. i feel those definitions; to break it down…this is my idealistic view of romance. & there are so many more random acts of kindness that could easily fit this bill; for now, i’ll keep it simple. & real.  

kissing in the rain. slow dancing for no particular reason…music or no music. black & white films, photographs. ART museums. louis armstrong, especially “la vie en rose.” ANAIS NIN. swing era…jazz…big band music. tom cruise singing to kelly mcgillis in ‘top gun.’ reading poetry out loud to each other. eye contact (you know the one). "june cleaver" in her apron, being swept off her feet in a deep embrace for baking cookies. fascination in one another.picnics in random, quiet places. giggling for hours. watching movies on the same couch. fantastic meals together. holding hands along walks. love letters. weddings. passion, etc. paris…i will get there one day. sweet surprises. kissing, kissing, & more kissing!

am i truly a silly girl struggling with fantasy & reality? i don’t think so. maybe i’ve hit accord with some other romantics out there…maybe not. (it happens) but this is me with my rose colored glasses. love & romance go hand in hand…they have to! one thrives off of the other. you can appreciate a love, but without romance…do they know?  am i a lost spirit swimming around in an endless ocean of sappy, hopelessness? i sure hope not! i do & show & love freely because i want to…is it wrong to doe-fully wish for the same in return? i sincerely hope that i am not a dying breed.

& sex…whoa, that’s a whole ‘nother animal! it is. (sorry, boys…it’s true!) *but we should check into that too, yes?! in the land of far, far away…