"who do you do?"...

days before i would meet a wonderful ‘gone with the wind’ aficionado, i would experience “the vapors,” what with all the excitement that was consuming me.  a rock star of the midlands with substance? i was intrigued!

with over a decade in the drag show business tucked away (no pun intended), patti o’furniture sets the bar high when it comes to entertainment & philanthropy. actually, everything is high-er, when this 7 feet in heels, bodacious broad makes her entrance; the “yard sale with legs,” indeed.

i met pat on a monday afternoon near usc in columbia, sc at the corner of college & main, to be exact. we had never officially met, but i had heard very nice things about him from mutual friends, & was already fascinated by his persona, patti. despite my nerves, my lack of note cards, & forgetting to press record on my newly installed quickvoice iphone app, i was ready to soak in as much as possible. (i must’ve seemed really professional, huh?) but as the sweet tea was being sipped & the conversation started flowing, i immediately felt like i could’ve known this person forever. at times, i caught myself tearing up from the laughter (it was that great).

in keeping with my planned, casual theme (plan b is always my savior); i asked questions, but mostly listened. (it’s what this lady does best) a southern raised gentleman with a strong performing arts background, a lover of his family, a humongous heart, & the ability to teach! what? can you say entire package? you see, pat teaches theater over at midlands technical college, is involved in everything artsy &/or human rights committee, & does two shows a week as patti o’furniture. (& then some…)

throwback to 1999, when pat was the advisor for the local bglsa (bisexual gay lesbian student alliance) at the university of south carolina. he challenged the group for their 2^nd annual drag show, ‘the birdcage’ (after the movie). the first year had been a success, but in an effort to be even bigger, the students needed $500. “you raise the money & i’ll mc in drag.” the money was raised in less than 24 hours! & the rest is history. that history? well, upon an attempt to move from colatown, a bon voyage/fundraiser for aids awareness was held. the response was basically, you raised what? don’t leave columbia…come work for us! (aids benefit foundation of south carolina)

& as for patti o’furniture, who could resist a woman who started from humble beginnings…the spawn of anita man & lott o’furniture…sent adrift by a twister (in her part of the double wide) into the backyard of a shandon home; a swanky zip code that allowed the glamour that she would learn to adore! *this back story was a fantastic added bonus! & i too, became a student that day, as pat passionately explained the importance of character identity.  “you can learn a script, but what does that person like to eat? what is their favorite color?” would i soon be in on the color that patti, herself, liked? i couldn’t wait.

what impressed me the most in discussing the whole drag experience via pat? the selfless giving of tips to charities. when the wig goes on & pat transforms into patti, she is not working her tail off for rent or makeup or what have you. that tall drink of water is hustling for charity! yea, you heard me! & among the biggest & brightest stars on the stage, every dollar is going towards a cause. that’s her thing! even the clothes…they are given to her or refashioned from other outfits or made from actual “trash” (hence the “yard sale” nickname) among the most impressive is the local aids benefit…which was very close to home for me, & awareness (to pat or patti) is no holds barred…“wrap it up!” (right?! my heart definitely swells…big.) so what prompted such hiv/aids awareness? the passing of a close fraternity brother from aids; in his memory. but it doesn’t stop there…the donations support many charities; the local arts in january, mom’s fave charity for mother’s day, dad’s for father’s day & so on & so forth. amazing? yes, truly!

after over an hour and a half of chatting/getting to know yous, he was reminded of yet another meeting (this soul is crazy busy…i love it!), so we exchanged “see you laters” where he mentioned that patti might be taking the audience to “church” the following night. i promised to bring my prayer cloth.

*it’s the following day & i am anxious to see my first drag show. it’s true. i see myself as a lover of everything theater; plays, musicals, etc. plus, you know how you have that one awesome girlfriend who you can call up, ask crazy requests, & they’re on board? well, i had lined up said dear friend to meet me after 9:30ish, on a “school” night (& after monkey had gone to bed)…it was on. we had arrived & were super excited!

the fun began as soon as we found a spot at the bar & drinks were ordered. now, being a beer gal normally, i felt a sassy beverage was in order. “cosmopolitan? yes, please!” 5 minutes into our new found environment of fun & girlfriend was pulled up on stage!! (this is why i love her…& called her.)

the “early show” was great. very entertaining; but i was waiting for miss patti o’. & at midnight, it was time. i recognized the instrumental theme of ‘mame’ coming from the dj booth a few minutes prior (as house music mash ups had been the overhead tunes filling the club between shows) & knew my wait was over!

there she was! (i got chills…the good kind) it was crazy, but i was so looking forward to this & was just happy to be there, in that moment. “i’m every woman. it’s all in meeeee…” with signature disco ball earrings, pearl necklace, & legs that go for days! i could feel the energy from the whole place immediately shift. & whoa, where did all these people come from? now, i realize that patti is meant to be crazy & funny & a little campy (“i’m the funny one.” me too, girl...me too.) but i found her be-a-utiful! she is not an illusionist or pop icon impersonator. “you will not catch me as ‘liza’ or ‘adele’” says pat (in reference to patti’s show) & you better believe me when i say, that killer personality is all her…you definitely can’t paint that on with make-up, that’s for sure!

“so who does she do?” do you even need to ask? why, herself, of course! patti o’furniture…& as a new fan, i wouldn’t want her any other way!

the tuesday night show is going to become a regular option for a girl’s night outing when we are given the chance again (girlfriend & i decided…ha) & why the heck not? what a blast it was!

oh, & so no one misses out…you can see patti o’furniture for yourself at pt’s columbia 1109 assembly street every tuesday night or every saturday night at club patrick’s in charleston, sc.

**a very special & heartfelt thank you to pat patterson for taking time out of his very busy schedule for this gal (who writes a silly little blog) & allowing me to share his awesomeness!!**