prince william of wales is marrying his kate...tomorrow, actually. & all the buzz lately has got me to thinking about weddings, but even more than that, the marriage that follows.
being married myself for 11 1/2 years & still very much in love, i started to look back on that "all you need is love" mantra that i used to repeat to myself. if you can make it through the bills, the in-laws, the first house purchase, stressful jobs, babies, & the growth spurts, you're pretty much set.
THAT being said...sometimes the hubs will do something so utterly annoying that i want to scream! i would never intentionally stab him in the balls with my stylus OR shave off one of his eyebrows as he sleeps OR finally get that awesome dead leg in when he isn't prepared for it! never! but i've thought about it...when he adds his 100 half empty glasses from his nightstand to my empty clean kitchen sink OR when his sneaky ass scares the crap out of me OR when he honors his A.D.D card by totally interrupting a story that i'm in the middle of telling with something completely off the subject!
i started wondering if i was the only married lady out there who felt this way. so, i enlisted the help of some of my blissfully wedded gal pals for some investigative reporting. what habits/annoyances/quirks get under your skin? & from year 1 up to almost 30, here's what i found out!
1 year & 9 months: the newly married guy. he doesn't put his stuff away (memories of mom, perhaps or bachelor life) no focus...tries to do way too many things at one time.
2 1/2 years: getting more comfortable by the minute guy. clipping finger/toenails in the living room. leaving the milk out. "blowing up the bathroom"(...no matches, no spray, c'mon buddy!). leaving stuff all over the house..."SLOB!"
4 years: the sleeping tourettes guy. as he falls asleep, he says 'HUH?' loud. waking the spouse every night. the solution (should you be wondering) is to do it right back! oh, & definitely loud enough to wake him up. you see, marriage is about reciprocation :)
9 years: the "i need a shoe closet" guy. poor fella, he surely needs a place to store the sneaks because now he's forced to leave them in the middle of rooms/hallways. out in the open where his wife will eventually trip, stub her toe, or fall enough times to get this obvious hint.
10 years: the skill & precision guy. got a piece of paper? church bulletin? receipt? no matter what the stock, he can make it smaller better than scissors. it's simple, just fold & crease...flip. fold & crease...flip. back & forth & rrrip, until virtually you're sitting there by yourself because the "nails on chalkboard" sound has made others jet. but hey, you have mastered this...it belongs to you.
12 years: the big kid. he's not sure when he'll finish that project he's working on, but it'll get done. in the meantime, he will school you in the latest video game. and you know this, man!
14 years: the house that cleans itself guy. no worries that he treks through the house with snow or mud on his shoes...he knows he's got hardwoods, baby. & when you're the last one to finish dinner & the kitchen is cleaned, that empty sink will feel lonely without his plate. (besides if he checked, the dishwasher was probably already full anyways.)
16 1/2 years: the SNORER. this man could be in the guiness book! falling asleep in 2 minutes & begin the snoring process before the wife can wipe off the cold cream. stupendous! but i take that back...he has plenty of time to saw away because she's actually rinsing all those little hairs from your razor down the sink!
28 years: the procrastinator. don't even worry about this guy. so, the deadline is friday...guess what? i bet you he will start work on that no later than 'conan' thursday night. he's got it all figured out...a pro for years. & he'll have his suitcase ready 10 minutes before you leave for vacation...did you have any doubt?
*all jabs aside, these are the men we all chose...soul mates, confidants, best friends!! they wrangle jobs & bank statements...they make time to play with the children, tell us we look pretty, & thank us for wonderful meals. heck, some of them even cook the meals. little things aside, marriage is fantastic...it truly must be love!
& lawd, don't even get 'them' started on 'us!'
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