sweet revenge? eh, some day...

night time is wide awake city for me…i simply cannot sleep. i drag most days for this reason. *insert caffeine here. but when it comes time to call it a day, my brain is going a bazillion miles a minute. (anyone else have this problem?)

last night, however, was different. i actually convinced myself that i was tired around 12:30…hooray! pleased with the possibility of much needed rest, or more than 5 hours of it, i brushed my chompers & made my way to the comfy bed that was calling my name.

i was almost giddy thinking to myself…’oh, sleep…& it’s early, kind of…it’s going to be so nice’…but, something interrupted my thought process as i slipped into bed (changing the tv from the "manly" fish catching-shooting-arm wrestle whatever to golden girls...ha) & that something was the snoring beast of a hubs already fast asleep. i understood why he was sawing away…he has a cold. (because of the crazy weather, they’re all the rage right now) at first, i sorta gently tugged at the covers. then, i tugged with a little more force. nothing. i tried the ole hand pat on the arm a couple of times…the side…slid my arm under his pillow. ran my cold foot up his leg, plopped my arm around his waist; anything i could imagine (short of waking mister bear) to get him to move, causing the snore to cease maybe long enough for me to drift off. no such luck. lightbulb moment…a ha! i knew exactly what to do!

you see, when i was prego with monkey, i gained just a teensy bit of weight. (65 pounds) so at 8 months or so, if i did get situated long enough to sleep, i did it good & hard. the extra L to the Bs (with the rampid, ever changing hormones, naturally) made my z's less than quiet. but i couldn’t help it, & most of the time didn’t even realize. one night, though, my snoring was too loud for the likes of my marital counterpart. how do i know this, you ask? well, when i awoke the next morning, i had this tight feeling on my face. weird. i tried to wriggle my nose, but something was pulling on my skin. i immediately touched my face & screamed “what the hell?” apparently, sneaky sneakerson had gingerly stuck a breathe right strip on my nose in the middle of the night! isn’t he clever? & i always had that in the back of my head & vowed to one day…yada yada.

so, there it was, guys. finally…revenge would be so sweet! even if it was like 7 ½ years later. i’m like an elephant…i never forget. i started to grin to myself as all the nonsense was running through my head & then chuckle. & you know how you can be thinking about something really funny & you make yourself laugh so much that you lose control of your inner crazy? well, it happened. i was watching him, with my brilliant scheme in mind, giggling & let a snort out by accident. one eye popped open & met mine. (the jig was up) but just as soon as he had made that eye contact, he was back to sleep. i laid really still & stared for a sec. all ready to get up & grab a strip out of the bathroom, i noticed a shimmer off of the tv light. upon closer inspection…dammit, he already has one on! great. fantastic. what do i do now? i turned over. & perhaps it was that last slight pull of the covers, but he too turned to face the other way. snoring stopped. ahh, finally… sleeeep! (& then a thunderstorm…& then the alarm clock! oh wells, better luck next time!)