there's just not enough time in the day to discuss the best lines from movies...or not for me (guess the peeps i work with don't quite nerd out in "that way.") so you guys are the awesome recipients. yay! plus, it's been a pretty wonky month for me so you'll find that there's a super funny theme in all this mess. because after all, it IS the best medicine! hope you'll recognize some lines, movie titles...if not, (WHAT?) then you must look up these comedic gems. seriously!
“We've come for your daughter,Chuck.” Betelgeuse…’Beetlejuice’
“The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!” Navin R. Johnson…’The Jerk’
“I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar.” Jay…’DOGMA’
“Miss Stoeger, I would just like to say that physical education in this school is a disgrace. I mean, standing in line for forty minutes is hardly aerobically effective. I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum.” Cher Horowitz…’Clueless’
“Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it's very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say 'oh but he's so much older than you' and you know what, I'm the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.” Sherri Ann Cabot…’Best in Show’
“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out!” Scarface…’Half Baked’
“Forget it, I quit, I can't do this anymore, man. My head's about to explode. My whole life sucks! I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going. My dad just died, we just killed Bambi, I'm out here getting my ass kicked and every time I drive down the road I wanna jerk the wheel into a Goddamn bridge abutment!” Tommy Callahan III…’Tommy Boy’
“Shouldn't you be holding the crucifix? It is THE prop for martyrs!” Armand…’The Birdcage’
“I’m French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly King.” Man…’Monty Python and the Holy Grail’
“Goonies never say die.” Mikey…’The Goonies’
“If you heard that someone we graduated with was in a fucking porno movie, you'd watch it, right?” Zack Brown…’Zack and Miri make a Porno’
“Tattoo on the lower back…might as well be a bulls-eye.” Jeremy Grey…‘Wedding Crashers’
“I know this is wrong, but do you ever wonder if she just made the whole thing up? I mean, it's a pretty good one. It's not like anyone can ever use virgin birth as an excuse again…I don't really think she made it up, but I can understand why a girl would.” Mary…’Saved!’
“Who's done more research than the good people at the American Tobacco Industry? They say it’s harmless. Why would they lie? If you're dead, you can't smoke.” Roy Munson…’Kingpin’
“Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. I'm the Dude, man.” The Dude…”The Big Lebowski’
“You had to be big shots didn't you. You had to show off. When are you gonna learn that people will like you for who you are not for what you can give them. Well, in your race for power and glory, you forgot one small detail…you forgot to hook up the doll.” Lisa…’Weird Science’
“What's happenin' hot stuff?” Long Duk Dong…’Sixteen Candles’
“Dammit, Janet, I love you.” Brad Majors…’The Rocky Horror Picture Show’
“I feel like I should welcome you to the neighborhood or something. Anyway, did you really want to do Rex Manning in the count-out room? Is that how you always imagined your first time would be? Your back up against the daily totals and your feet pounding against the safe? 'Oh Rexy, stop that. You're so sexy.’” Debra…’Empire Records’
“God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big ‘lesbian’ crush on you! Suck on ‘that’! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!” Janis Ian…’Mean Girls’
“It is, like, the best medicine. 'Cause it fixes everything. Jonah broke his elbow once. We just...got high and...it still clicks but, I mean, he's ok.” Ben Stone…’Knocked Up’
“There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.” Pee-wee…’Pee-wee’s Big Adventure’
“These are my BREASTS. They're so BIG. I need a BRA to strap them and support because they're so HUGE they need to be hooked and strapped for support. My big boobs, this one is bigger than this one 'cause it’s the mommy and that's the baby. And this one is very nice to this one and they hold hands because they're FRIENDS!” Mary Katherine Galllagher…’Superstar’
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