here’s an interesting question…how many friends do you have? 400…600…more? oh, wait, that’s on ‘facebook.’ (& my goodness, are you a rock star?) yea, let’s re-evaluate this. think for a sec….yes, you! are you thinking? okay, how many “friends” do you have? like close, going that extra mile sort of amigo? if you answered more than 10, then congratulations, but i have a suspicion that you’re stretching the truth just a bit. (even though, it has been my experience that fellas tend to stay friends longer than ladies) & by what criteria are we even going by? having a party? oh, i could definitely find plenty to invite to a party. but, what “kind”of party? & at the end of the day, when everything is laid out on the table, how many of those invites are showing up? when you need them to the most?
sure, i have friends, acquaintances, & in general, surrounded by wonderful people. great gals i’d go grab a beer with or meet for game night or chat with about our kids, etc. & even these are few & far between. i mean, when it comes down to it, i really only have a few “friends” that i would feel comfortable burdening with the average may lay of everyday crap. not that i'm a "debbie downer," but you know what i'm talking about. the good, the bad, & the ugly!
that person who would show up at your door with a casserole if you were really sick, the one who knows you better than most, but is still interested in learning more, or even the pal who doesn’t need to one up you if you really need to vent, scream, or cry; the one who hears someone saying a negative thing about you & not only says that it’s not okay, but removes them self from that situation. the girlfriend you trust to shop with...that will honestly say"eww, no, not those jeans, girl!" (if need be)
friendship, true friendship, is almost like a marriage. better or worse, sickness or health, richer or poorer. seriously. & some friendships last longer than a marriage; or two or three. it’s a connection, a bond. but like a marriage, they take work from all sides. sadly, this is where i have dropped the ball on those few friends that i mentioned above!
the same rules apply…i would show up for these folks, delight in their happy times, mourn their losses, & overall, be there when i say i will. but i have been m.i.a. in the present. no contact at all. i shamefully admit it; own it. & isn’t recognition the first phase of change?
life happens, it’s true. it’s easy to get caught up in work, family, etc. i used to be so good at touching base with my girlfriends via tele or email. actually setting up times to meet & catch up. now, i get around to the idea part & it’s 6 months before i even speak with that person. not intentionally…life, remember?!
i have been consumed by my non-interaction a ton lately, & how i need to change this friend rut that i’m in. then in the past week, a tragedy happened…someone i grew up with left this world, & in turn put an even bigger fire under my rump to fix this problem…& fast.
i thought about the important folks in my life. who have i spoken to lately? who do i mean to call back a hundred times, but it either occurrs to me at 7:00 in the a.m. or 11:30 at night? who's doing what, where, when? who might be needing "me" to reach out because they are feeling this same exact way? i'm not getting any younger & i want to make time for these friendships & enjoy them every chance i get.
in the process of trying to figure out a solution to this dilemma…there i am brainstorming again. eureka…i got it! in the next few weeks, my hope is to start dating again. yep, dating my friends. going to start with the oldies & work my way up. (not oldest people, oldest friends. okay, so kind of one in the same…HA!) i’m thinking that if i reach out & truly follow up, that it'll feel so great having these missing pieces in my life on a more consistent basis. group dates…one on ones. i am quite versatile, you guys. & perhaps, i can help someone out of their friend rut. hmmm, we’ll see!
p.s. out of towners, i have not forgotten you. for you, i will be sending love letters. (which is so much better than a bill, yes?!) & if i do not have your recent whereabouts, i will find you...o-o-oh, i will find you!!
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