release slip...

man, i have been wanting to write so badly lately, but it's like i cannot finish a complete thought to save my life. i have been so distracted. mentally drained. emotionally all over the place.

i usually waste time doing a whole lot of nothing when i find myself in these lulls of motivation; totally not knocking that, some times i need to just daze out & chill...regroup. recently, i've been trying a different approach. i have been listening more & talking less. by that i mean, i have totally been reading blogs & stories & experiences from others inside & outside of my little ash world!

i have been consumed with the recent miracle "divas" (as my friend refers to her twin girls) born several weeks back at 25 weeks. weighing less than 2 lbs a piece. spending their earliest of days in NICU. one losing her little fight. one still fighting & keeping smiles on mine (& i know tons of others) faces with her continuing progress. i have cried so much over this. i have wanted to find the right words to say to this sweet friend who i have had the pleasure of knowing through the hubs (who has known her since they were in preschool.) but, instead i read & listen & keep on sending positive vibes their way.

i am still reeling, yes reeling over the passing of a childhood friend. i still don't understand why. why? i'm heartbroken & a little pissed at the same time. i know that sounds terrible. it's just how i feel. my head says that he's found peace, but my heart says "what the hell, dudes?!" but every negative needs a positive, right...the whole yin-yang thing. so, i'm proud to say that my first step in dating my friends is in motion. i am set to meet up with some girls i've known since elementary/middle school in a few weeks, & i am super & quite dorkily excited about it!!

i have been having the weirdest work days...highs & lows all in the series of a few hours. at times it goes from 0 to suck in a matter of minutes. but then i get home. i unwind. & discover that my friend juju has written her 500th blog or finally find that blog i've been searching for, that a yemassee folk of mine writes or laughing at my gal pal, ash, who recaps her family life/craziness so eloquently (we were separated at birth, i think.) or being in awe of my fellow ex-derber, jillian, who is a fashion MacGyver! & i do not comment (unless it's for a friday giveaway a la refashionista) or throw in my 2 cents...i laugh, love, & listen. it's amazing how this flips my shitty switch to smiles before bed. thanks, ladies!

i have spent this whole week listening to monkey discuss 'sonic' & 'mario' with full detail. but honestly, i have only "listened" because i have no freaking clue how to even contribute to that convo other than "oh, cool!"

i will be glad when this wonky month is over. even though i just realized today that it almost is. where'd ya go, august? you were totally a blur. bring on september. fall. football & "football" weather. leggings & knee socks. & my most fave holiday ever, ever, ever...halloween, baby! loves

i've learned a lot listening. thank you for listening to me. i'm very much ready to get back to what i know...human behavior observations, random things that i ponder, & embarassing mishaps that always find yours truly!

& if you'd like to (& i think you should) check out these blogs that i've mentioned, here's the know how:
http://barbermiracles.blogspot.com/
http://jujusmusings.blogspot.com/
http://jenniferashleylove.blogspot.com/
http://lindler5.blogspot.com/
http://refashionista.net/